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 Marcia Purse

Psychotic Stories

By February 15, 2007

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Forum Member BPGeekboy posted the following message on our Main Forum. We felt it was worth sharing with our readers who may not be forum members or who don't read every forum posting. You may want to share your own story or respond to what he wrote.
Hi Everyone,

It been a while since I last visited the site and coming back is really uplifting. Everyone on here is lovely and it's reassuring to hear from people going through the same as me.

Funny, really, as I can be really outgoing but sometimes I can be a bit of a loner. That part of me has been winning since I found out I was BP. I miss being the life of the party but I guess I know that person is always inside me ready to enjoy life to the full.

Anyway, I wanted to post a thread about psychosis. I don't know if it is the same for anybody else but I have had trouble talking about the times when my perception of reality has shifted. Part of that is to do with the paranoia I experienced during my first episode but also due to trusting someone enough that you don't think they're just going to think "crazy."

I thought that the forum might be a good place to start. I feel a need share it and find out what others have experienced. I hope some of you might be willing to, too.

My first episode when something finally went pop was about a year and a half ago. I started communicating in tones, like a bird, and then thought I was a robot. Ending up being taken to hospital but only after a lot of people had tried to talk to me.

Nobody could talk to me and make sense of what I was saying. To me though it all made perfect sense, I was communicating on a different level where the words all had hidden meaning. They ended up leaving me in room by myself, and that's when things got really interesting. Still believing I was the soul of a man trapped in a robot I began to move around the room. But my movements where being translated into solutions to a scienctific problem, that is the prevention of the final destruction of the universe.

As I became more confident my movements began to change into a dance. That dance was holding the universe together and I knew I couldn't stop until it was safe again. That didn't matter, though, because I was really enjoying myself. I remember getting some funny looks from the people outside of the room. I'm a pretty big bloke, 6'3", so it must have been quite a sight.

Anyway that is just the start of it but it did feel good to let it out.

If you fancy sharing some of your experiences with me then I would love to hear them. For me this is a brave move but I think it is healthy. It is good to share after all.

May today find you happy to be alive and full of hope.

Lots of love,
BPGB xx

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Comments
August 9, 2010 at 10:22 am
(1) Greeko 1981 says:

you have got gutz mate. I have been labelled so many names by so called friends. All because I got drunk one nite and was pushed into having a joint. I said some stupid things and no one has let me live it down. I now know who my friends are and they are very few. Unfortunately in Wanganui good people are few and far between, however I AM sure alot of Wanganui people will disagree. I have yet to meet those people. I do not trust many people at all and happiness is a vague memory from the days I played soccer for Wanganui East Athletic as a child. my teenagers envolved drugs and alcohol. In my twenties now it is alcohol.

October 8, 2011 at 4:11 pm
(2) sara says:

I suffered from psychosis about 9 years ago. I recall it started in november 2001 after 9/11 .I began to think the tv was sending me subliminal messages and that I was a model.Also I thought that the radio can communicate to me and everything was directed to me.After a year I became better

November 8, 2011 at 1:28 pm
(3) tommy says:

It started with me finding out my dad hung hiimself. I remember identifying his body and then not sleeping for a week. I then started seeing my dead dad out and about. food started tastig amazing as did drink. I beleved I was saint thomas and I knew that madaline mcann was alive in spain. I ran out my house in pjs and took some cash. I took a taxi to the airport and switched taxis there then went into a cloths shop and brought everything from socks to a hat and walked out looking like a manicin. I took a buss to the mcanns house and deleverd a pack I had made. It was as if music came on the radio for me only and i didnt need food or sleep. at one point i felt like i was walking above everyone else. I was sectioned for two months. I excaped a few times to go camping in the woods or to pled sanctury in churchs. I beleved simon cowell was the antichriest and i was here to save the world.

May 19, 2012 at 11:33 pm
(4) distressed says:

I am not BP but my spouse is he suffers from BP with psychotic features. He denies he is BP no matter what the doctors tell him. Lately he has the belief that cameras are in all the smoke detectors in our home. He believes every time his smartphone freezes up hackers are responsible. He swears people are watching me through my web cam. He also believes that only processed food is safe to eat. He thinks anything I cook meat wise is raw and dissects it to ensure its cooked before eating it. He thinks that I believe I am Almighty and better than everyone else and constantly tells me I’m not special that I’m not perfect. I’ve never said such a thing nor do I think any of that. My question to anyone reading this us how can I get his to realize he is BP and that his fears are not real? It is frustrating having to live with someone who acts this way. I love him but I’m at a loss on what to do.

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