What Triggers Your Episodes?
Several events have triggered me in the past. When I got a coveted part in a Shakespeare play at a local theater group, I had a very high hypomanic episode - I was flying on 2-3 hours of sleep a night, exhibited grandiose behavior, and partied like mad. On the day of the last performance, my body rebelled and I came down with a horrific case of flu. Got through the show and then was in bed for over a week.
I survived the death of my fiancee in 1992 with a great deal of support and love from friends and family; but a year and a half later, when I got stabbed in the back by a "friend" who had offered me a fantastic job opportunity, I went into a depression so profound that for the first time I was medicated. And there have been many other triggering events in my life.
What about you? What triggers your episodes? Are they things you can guard against? Please share your experiences in the comments.
~Marcia
Comments
Being disappointed. By anything.
Hoping to get a job that I know I am perfect for and not. Thinking I am going to be a part of a good friend’s wedding and not. A friend telling me that someone at work values me and it was really just him. And those have only been in the few weeks. Just tired of feeling like a loser!
Triggers:
being in a job that I cannot quit because of contract and dreading every day of it because I feel stuck and feel I don’t know how to handle the work.
Contact with my dysfunctional family, with all the negative gossip and racism.
not having enough “alone” time.
money problems (always there)
losing friends due to my “diagnosis.”
who are my real friends now? not many.
Not having enough money to do anything with. Not having enough energy to go out of my house and do anything. Little things make me snap-Ex: My daughter will get crumbs of food on my floor and i will go off, now thats not right at all and i know this but i cannot controll my self sometimes. Im not always like this about 70% of the time i am. I wish i could be a happier person to be around.
Vacations and traveling always get me. Even if it’s just a two-day trip back home to my mom’s house, when I return to my normal life I’m hypomanic. The longer the trip the more intense the hypomania and the longer it lasts.
I have really terrible anxiety and when I worry about things like my friends getting sick of my moods, all the pain in the world, or my lack of financial stability I just spiral downward. Therapy helps with that, I’m learning to tame the anxiety before it gets me down into a depression.
Over-eating is one. I have a terrible self-image and when I go on a binge (for me that’s really not a lot of food, just the wrong kind). I see I’ve made zero progress on losing weight (need to get rid of maybe 10-15 pounds) and it reinforces negative thoughts and actions. When I see myself in the mirror or put on clothes that are too tight, it all becomes symptomatic of failures in my life: don’t exercise (lethargic); don’t look as good as I used to (getting old/fat), don’t have many friends (persnickety), don’t do well professionally as I used to (under-achiever afraid of failure and even success); etc.
The binge can be a trigger but also a result of other triggers: i.e., I have an argument with my girlfriend, feel guilty and frustrated, and as a result start eating ice cream at 1:00 am. It’s a vicious cycle … still haven’t learned how to (patiently) wait it out, never mind finding ways to break the syndrome.
When I confuse appt. times. When I show up for something and it’s not the right time. I beat myself up. I even keep a calendar. Also, my husband has hissy fits in the morning that can bring me down all day. When my kids tease me about being forgetful. I could go on and on.
Menopause. I underestimated the impact and length of time this change would have on my BP. I thought I was out of the woods when I toughed out most of the usual annoying symptoms two years ago. WRONG! This year I ended up chasing menopausal symptoms with psychiatric meds because the symptoms are so similar. I was “dragged” into HRT and boy am I glad. What a positive difference! Change of any type disrupts my stability, especially chemical change. Pregnancy was a similar situation.
I’m still trying to figure out what my triggers are. I feel sorry for my husband. We are both having a tough time dealing with this.
There’s not enough room in this forum to say what a fraud and phony I am. Bipolar, gay, and an active Christian believer. My life is constantly cycling every week as I go through this hell. My church condemns gays. I live in the “sticks” of Northern PA, and over the 8 yrs. I’ve been in treatment with many attempts to tweak my cocktail, I feel miserable. I live with someone, another man, who actually treats me like a prince and goes way above and beyond what I deserve in a friend, but there was a time when we were lovers, the 1st couple yrs. I knew him and now he won’t consider being in a romantic relationship with me ever. We do everything together, we go everywhere together, yet this one degree of intimacy that I long for is no longer possible. I’m often flying high when we’re at church (we have a VERY lively ecumenical worship and praise service) but afterward I come home and collapse and face the days of disappointment and depression.
Sorry to pull on your ears so long but I have no one to talk to about this. I was using counselors and of course I have a pdoc but I’m taking a break from counseling right now. There’s lots more to tell but that’s enough for now. If there is a gay man in this forum, I would really like you to consider being a “penpal,” for lack of a better word. Maybe we could help each other
Thank you for listening. Stephen
I was forced out of my job as a Certified Pharmacy Tech on Nov 14.2008 I made 14.15 they said I would have to take 9.00 hr. I quit went to Humana that was 15.00 hr.I was fired 8 days later. I lost my Cobra Insur. I didn’t take it b/c it was 1300.00 a month. I tried to get private but had been denied twice. I also tried Medicaid I wAS ineligible, so I have been without insurance I have Afib and Sleep Apnea.I had been diagnosed bp years ago,but always refused medicine and seeing someone. I am not in the process real soon to file disability.
Triggers;
Not being able to work…Being discharged from the army b/c of this disorder….Constantly feeling worthless…No help from the government or support from anyone really…always feeling lost…pressure from family to get into college (im 20) and become a doc…. and a whole bunch more…thanks for reading..
For me PMS definitely will trigger hypomania or depression. It varies from month to month. Dating causes hypomania. Taking care of both sick parents has lead to depression.
What doesnt trigger me? I am very sensitive to noise, bright lights, and too much activity going on around me. I get irritated and mad, I end up throwing things and swearing alot… I get ECT once a month. I also have ADHD, PTSD, and a few more….I usually have mixed episodes so I cry alot along with the irritabilty….
Triggers:
Working a job for 3 months then discovering it isn’t what I wanted then head for the depressive side – crying at the drop of a hat; seasonal changes; rain; loneliness….
Being disappointed brings on depression, toxic people bring big triggers, being lied to makes my skin crawl! Forgiveness is the key and being good to yourself, taking our meds, our own health comes first, we are numero uno always!
I am trigger by my kids a lot, if they have emotional issues I start having anxiety thinking I have passed this on. I can’t be around a lot of noise or crowded places I get very manic. I also have mixed episodes so I can be extremely confused by my emotions and usually get very irritable. Example my husband went grocery shopping and got the wrong brand – I wanted to scream but I just gritted my teeth. He usually ignores me or laughs my moods off which usually helps because he doesn’t play into them.
A motor vehicle accident in 2005 triggered mine. The bi-polar resurfaced after being asymptomatic for 9 years. Even though my physical injuries are much better, I can’t get the mania under control. Overall, anxiety and panic trigger my mania.
my trigger:
whenever i feel disappointed abt something..and usually its just a simple matter, like a boyfriend who doesn’t answer my text message..or a friend who acted a bit indifference.. For some countable matters..i just feel numb, like my college problem..or my family matters… Maybe i’m just too depressed that i become numb and i cant feel it anymore….
Triggers…..let me see. So many. My kids can trigger me in a flash. Bad/Inattentive drivers, seasons changing, when a situation doesn’t go the way I want it to, and many many more. Meds are helping, but need to adjust my levels to help prevent me from rapid cycling. ;P
Someone could say something to me and I take it the wrong way and it triggers me to get really moody or depressed. My kids trigger me alot. Im a rapid cycler, so when my triggers are pushed I dont know what way I will go. If I will get angry and start ranting and raving, or going to my room to cry or go outside and tell everyone to leave me alone. My fiance is so intuned with me, he can tell ahead of time by my voice when something is wrong so he never believes me when I say “NOTHING is WRONG”. that triggers me big time. I get so angry and then I just blurt everything out and go on a while whim and end up so far away from what really triggered me in the first place. My depression and not wanting to leave the house gets me. I want to go and do things, I just dont have the dern energy to get dressed. Any advice on that one? Did I say my 18 year that knows everything about Nothing really triggers me these days????? OMG>>>>someone rescue mEEEEE. I cant wait for her to move out…I know, I know, everyone here will tell me, I will eat my words one day, but holy cow, she doesnt even try to understand, tells her brother and my fiance that im lazy, i dont want to work, and he should reconsider marrying me. Now what kind of manipulation is that????and what kind of daughter is that to back stab you when youve raised her as a single parent for 15 years, gave her everything ( THAT IS THE PROBLEM)and sacrificed everything for my kids and get this payback…I dont understand it. I could go on, but ill stop here.
What is upsetting me now is this ridiculous court stuff I am going thru…since January 2009.No, I didn’t do anything wrong but a man is legally harrassing me by using the court system. It seems to never end and I am so angry over it and frustrated by it that I could and do scream. However, you will all be proud of me. I sit in court with my mouth shut, hold my head up high, keep my back straight and never let the bad guy see he is annoying me to the point I want to just smack him.
What awful thing did I do ?? I protected my sweet 7 yr old grandson from his crack head mother. CPS said specifically ” DO NOT let him go anywhere that she could be.She is acting out badly and needs supervised visitation.” So….I kept him with me to be safe according to the cps safety plan.Now, the maternal GREAT- grandfather is suing me because I am interefering with his RIGHTS to take the child for over nights. Legally he has no rights but it hasn’t stopped him from constantly jacking with me. I am having a real hard time coping with this crap. I really want to just smack him in the head with a 2×4 but I won’t…..I will be good….but its very, very hard. In the mean time, he has ruined his relationship with the sweet boy because sweet boy found out Pa-pa wanted me put in jail.
Trying to figure out my triggers. Just started meds and feel more rapid cycling. Have been very depressed the past 4 days. I know hormonal changes for sure since I have a 3 month old and at 8 weeks went into post partum phychosis and mania, which made me get into the doc. Sleep also. I still can’t sleep at night and only get 3-4 hrs of interupted sleep. Disappointment is a good one anything can make me sad. Anything someone says can send me into tears for days. I have always been overly sensitve. My messy cluttered house, not getting or feeling like doing anything. Not being able to spend time with my kids because I am so depressed. The past 2 years have been non stop triggers. Broke off an engagement, lost my job, ;lost my car and liscence, My beloved wonderful Grandma died, my son chose to move in with his dad, new relationship(but hard always setting each other off) Finding out I was pregnant again , having a baby.
Seems like anything can set me off. I feel like sleep would help me now though.
My college age son was dx 18mos ago. He is stablized(according to what we see and his dr observation).He lost close to a year of college and is working his way back.His college offered no support during this period. Actually I am still appalled by their behavior toward us during his illness. I want him to get a job to supplement living at home. I am afraid to put too much pressure on because of his dx. Can I treat him the same as his younger sister, who is in college full time and working part time. Or can my pressure to work be a trigger? Confused and loving mom.
My dad and mom died six months apart, just 2 months ago. They were 86. We, 5 brothers and sisters combined took care of mom who died of pulinary fibrosis. She fell and died 4 days later. My siblings and I r0tated for 5 months taking care of her. Hospice was called in to help. It was bad for all of us, but esp. me. I was the most curagious and happiest to help mom and just be with her.Although after a painful relationship with her and my siblings, I found myself and my mom becoming very loving and close. I also experience my siblings turn on me like thieves.
This a tramtic story that leasves me crying every other day. I was balanced emotionally and medically through tried and true meds. I was in rehabe for 5 weeks and thereyp for 20 years. In past year every week or two. I went to groups and went ito the hospital each time I was triggered by some very challenging events. I wanted to get back to biing balanced. I have seen
I have witenced a couple of my sibs behave very selfisely and dumb all their hate and ugliness on me . This has been a patern for my whole life. They have done and now I know said things to get others to hate me. It worked too. I realize I was triggered so often over the last month of moms life that caused me having an episodes. There has been dificult relationships in my family that caused a repeast of passed behavior. I was the one who ended up alone and a wreck. My dad took personal challenge in me to help me cope. I was and am very sensitive. I was treated different by my dad because of the unbearible frea that I was going to be alienated by my siblings. It did not help That I was named after my moms mother who died very young.
I did not know any of this untill I was well into adulthood. I did think the relationship with my sister was just normal and all sisters were like that. As years passed I realized ther was a reason why I was so afraid of other woman and they judgeed me so much. I felt the sae about my mom and other sister who ignoe me like the plague. I have a very depression childhood. The patterns were exactly the same right up the fact my sister took things that belonged to me.
I have been in the throughs of mania, very bad at that.My doctor put me on abilify and I am in the middle to of a full dose. I am going off another med. and please Gog help me get balanced again. My mom and dad are gone now. I am really just beginning to grieve now after two momths of mom mom passing. The storm over my moms last month of life has cast an ugly clout over her death because of my siblings actions over me. I haveen’t been able to grieve and really see my moms face untill last night and My world fell apart. I wondered if I was getting worse but realize today that I am getting better. I have a very long way to go.
As far as my siblings go, I want to scream and fight to get justice. How can anyone get peace when illyou are mentally ill. No matter what I say or do will vendicate me or make them see what huge part they have playe in my demise. I miss my younger sister so I called her and we had a nice convesaton. It was ecent like her. My othe brother who makes 6 siblings in a schizphrenia and has not been home for 30 years for reasons of just bad memories. He is so much better now but is very paranoid. I love him so much. He is a dear sweet 52 year man.
I don’t know how to set myself free from the past events. I could accuse them or each and eveything they did to me which caused me great stress and fear for my mom. I saw her get angry ,depressed and crying a lot for the sudden loss of dad moms husband. Why couldn’t every one just be nice and fair. Why coulldn’t they just tell the truthand do what was best for mom. We were all there to take care of mom but everyone did everything but watch out for her. It was pathtic. I told one of siblings that I was getting down before she left the house suddenly and she said to me, How do you think mom feels? I should of elaborated and said I ment I was having a hard time because mom was very down. I kept telling them that about mom but I think they were all so self-absorbed they were blind to moms needs. I am left with all the blame and it is not the first time.
Please help me rid my life of this pain so I can get back on my road of life and be happy again.