Bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression) is a disease; it is a medical condition that causes psychological problems to such a degree that daily functioning is hampered by the symptoms. The most prominent symptoms include episodes of mood problems that are usually beyond normal responses to events and often last for extended periods of time (see What Is Bipolar Disorder for further details).
The formal factors used to determine if the problems you are experiencing are a specific type of episode have been established through the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published by the American Psychiatric Association. It is the primary system used to classify and diagnose all mental disorders. There are four types of episodes defined in the manual:
- Manic Episode
- Hypomanic Episode
- Depressive Episode
- Mixed Episode
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I am Bipolar I, mixed states, rapid cycling, atypical, and treatment resistant, DX in 1993, but had symptoms since I was 14. I am 63. My p-doc said at one time that “recovery is unrealistic for me”. I recently saw a “second opinion” who indicated that the treatment resistance was “my fault”, and I have to start doing my part. I have attended groups, but feel “dragged down” by other people’s problems. I burned the DBT book, but another workbook stressing CBT seems more appropriate. However, I feel quite hopeless. I recently reviewed my records. I have a list of psychoses that shock me. Do I have a chance of improving my illness, which has occupied almost all of my time in the last two years and before. If so, I’ll keep trying. If not, I’ll work on accepting my illness as it is. Thanks.
Marian, I am right there with you. I’ve been trying to fight every mental health illness, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, etc., and I am treatment resistant. I just went through 6-8 ECT treatments with promises of the miracle treatment. I’m still so depressed, I’m cutting, crying all the time, my family is sick of me; I have no friends and I’m near the end. I’m making funeral plans, writing out my will (I have nothing – I lost everything because of my illness), lost my marriages, medical career, don’t have a enough money through disability, so I know I will be homeless soon, even though I have 3 children. There is no treatment for me, at least, so I know and I feel so sad for you. Something died inside of me for the last several years, and the only time I’m happy is when I’m knocked out by pills. I look forward to the day I get the nerve (which I won’t) to leave this world, and wish I could give people who want to live, my life and soul. I hope you know you are not alone and even though that is not helpful, it may give you some type of peace that you are not the only one. Gloria
Dear Gloria,
I was diagnosed with bipolar at a late age (40). I had been missed diagnosed for over 20 years. I also have PTSD,
ADD, am treatment resistant, a rapid cycler and stay in mixed episodes. I am so tired. Something has died inside me and I feel like a stranger is inside my body. I am just a completely different person and do not seem to have any control over my life. I suffered 2 very traumatic events one which was a rape with just made things so much worse. I have had the Vagus Nerve Stimulater placed in for depression and it helped but now is off. I have had over 9 ECT treatments—nothing helps. I wish I could get the courage to leave this world. But, I do worry about my family. I am so afraid of what is going to happen to me. I am divorced with no children so that is a blessing I suppose and also I receive disability from my job and social security disability for now. I just wish I could be the person I was 18 years ago. I am sad all the time. No friends. Just like to do things alone.