Robert Eric McFadden - Making Excuses or Stating a Reality of Bipolar Disorder?

I recalled once during my 4 years being diagnosed with BPD that I was extremely sexually aroused. I wasn’t aware it’s part of the manic stage. I did have the though of going for male prostitute because I don’t have a partner. However, via other means of reliefing the urge, I didn’t end up going for prostitute nor go have sex with every random man off the strees. I got through it okay and am more aware of this if it is to occur again. It’s all about training yourself mentally. NO excuse for uncontrollable behaviour.

My daughter just turned 18 and in acutely bipolar. Meds are 900 mg Seroquel; 600 mg Lamictal and Risperdol. I see the hypersexualty emerging. Revealing clothes, wants to be a Playboy bunny and for now; wants to be a Hooter Girl. She is starting her senior year in high school in a few weeks. Usually when school starts, the excitement seems too great for her to take and ends up in the psych unit in September. This has been her pattern since starting high school.
Does ANYONE have ANY suggestions for ME to get this under control? Of course, I’m accused of being too strict. I could care less. I have set up professional counseling that will start in a couple of weeks.
The crazy thing is, she prays over everthing. She is a Christian.
HELP anyone??????????????????

I’m also Bipolar but it doesn’t affect me in a sexual way. as a matter of fact sex is never on my mind. I am constantly thinking about suicide though. so everone is different!!!

Tina: Unfortunately, in spite of many advances toward respect for women, culture seems to be promoting women as sex objects more than ever. Being a Playboy bunny is thought of as desirable among many teenage girls. It’s hard to know where normal peer pressure ends and mania begins. As a Christian you may be able to get help from your congregation, especially teenage girls that have a more healthy view of sex.
I find the current trends offensive and I’m not even a girl.

My own experience has been on the other end of the spectrum. Antidepressants have almost eliminated and sexual desire. This caused problems in my marriage but is now quite a benefit being without a wife. The best part is that it is the desire that is gone so I don’t miss it. If I ever get involved in a relationship again I’ll have to figure out something else.
When manic I have a greater desire for sex but not to the extent that I cannot control it. I wish the best to those that experience a much stronger version of this symptom.

I think it’s good he’s identified his conditions and will seek help. It’s hard to tell from one quote whether a person is sincere, or just parroting something his lawyer told him to say.

hypersexuality is a symptom of mania. that doesn’t mean that anyone can use having bp as an excuse for acting out. there are other ways to relieve the need for sexual gratification other than running a prostitution ring!

how stupid does this man think others are.

knowing who you are and what your triggers are helps a lot when managing this disease process.

At the same time – when you tie in hypersexuality with the grand ideas common in mania, it doesn’t sound all that far-fetched.
Remember, mid-mania anything seems possible. Tie that in with an extended extreme sexual urge, and it starts seeming like a workable idea.
In the right mindset, a scheme that ties sexual gratification, lots of money and significant personal power and authority together doesn’t seem altogether illogical – particularly to a manic mind.
After we come down, a lot of us listen to the people that have observed us while manic, and mixed in with the concern others express, I’ve found that some people really wish that they’d done some of the things we’ve done, and those people are the ones most likely to rather stridently claim that our actions weren’t really influenced by our BP. They really seem to believe that we simply use it as an excuse to behave in a manner that they secretly wish they could. They also tend to overlook or gloss over the consequences we deal with after we crash.
Just my observations

BP completely ruins my life for 6 months every year, but I manage to stay out of most trouble these days because everyone knows I have it. (I am a nurse so no work for those 6 months) I am disgusted by people suddenly claiming bipolar in the public when they need an excuse. It gives the rest of us a bad rep unfairly

He said it’s *not* an excuse, so what’s wrong with that statement?

Hypersexuality is a compelling reason, not an excuse, just like other manic symptoms, for all kinds of behaviors normies don’t like. Not an excuse but a reason.

I’ve experienced hypersexuality, wow, have I. I’ve never been a pimp but did plenty of other (legal) sexual things nobody here would approve of, and when I wasn’t manic anymore I stopped doing them. It IS a reason. Just not an excuse.

When I am hypomanic I flirt. I don’t want to have sex. At that point, I feel I am above everyone and people only exist for my entertainment. I see flirting as a game and people as game pieces for me to manipulate. I will flirt with anyone available, and even when inappropriate. I think it is funny and fun. I also think that everyone is flirting with me and interpret everything people say as implying they are interested in me sexually. I am certainly not like this outside of the hypomanic mood state. In fact, my self esteem is quite low and I suffer from social anxiety disorder.
When I slide into a manic state, I am often tortured by intrusive and persistent sexually violent and disturbing thoughts and images. I am talking nonstop hypersexual thoughts. Self pleasure does increase.
I have always been grateful that the only times my behavior has led to a sexual encounter has been when alcohol was involved in addition to hypomania. I don’t drink at all any more, and I believe that as long as I stay away from that my chances of acting out hypersexuality is significanly lessened.

I have been on meds 1200-1500 per day of Lithuim, at first I would say I was no more active than usall. but for last 2 years or so I have had very little sexual desire to the point of maybe once every 2-6 weeks I am 56 and pretty active and must say I have never started a sex ring or lusted for the unknown . Poor escuse for deviante behavior to blame BP. More like B.S. John

John, I think you are being a bit harsh. If you read the info provided and take a look, his diagnosis appears to be after the offense. Reckless sexual behavior is a hallmark of many bi polars and not everybody responds the same. If he was undiagnosed with BP, this is not unusual behavior. Look at the supreme court judge from NY that was diagnosed at 63 with bp after he committed extortion and was in prison for 15 months.

Yes, mania can be a *reason* for inappropriate behaviors, but never an excuse. It’s no different than the thousands of dollars I spent on records during a hypomanic episode – spending spree, or the sudden volatile outbursts – irritability.
I think there is a list of common characteristics for mania, but which ones stand out is different for each of us. If it hadn’t been hypersexuality that took this guy to a place where he sought treatment, it could have been that he put his entire family in poverty & debt from gambling or spending sprees, it could have been jail time for getting into fights or insider trading, it could have been embezzlement (sp?), fraud, or hallucinations and paranoia. I tend to think I’m a fabulous writer and everything I put on paper is genius, and hypergraphia is a good tip-off that I’m manic. I also collect, must have one in every color! That’s my MO. This guys was mixing two manic characterisitics into one – risky business ventures with hypersexuality. Either way, he’s addressing the problems.

I have to agree with Jeanette – he specifically said that it was NOT an excuse! So why are so many of us getting angry about him using BP as an excuse? He’s not doing that – just giving a *reason* for his behavior. Big difference between a reason and an excuse. Most of us have done unwise, impulsive or just plain dangerous things precisely because of the effects of our BP – but that doesn’t make it okay to have done those things. I think this guy understands that. Maybe he was just saying what his lawyer told him to, who knows. But we have no reason to think he’s excusing himself for what he has done. He has acknowledged the problem, gotten treatment, and admitted that his BP had a part in it. If any of us did something that awful while in an extreme depressive or manic state, would we be able to admit to that? Can we admit to ourselves just how much our BP does negatively affect us, without using it as an excuse? I know I have a lot of trouble with that – especially when I’ve just done something really, really, really wrong.

I am a wife of a bipolar man. I didnt know this until now. He also had never been diagnosed. I recently discovered that for at least 7 of our 15 years of marriage he has been having illicit affairs, getting worse over the years to the point of paying prostitutes for sex. At some point he had a live in lover in one of the towns where he worked, so he sort of kept a polygamous life in addition to hiring prostitutes everywhere he went fior work.

Needless to say, I am completely devastated and I dont understand. I have been reading about bipolar but I still dont understand how he can go on for years. My little understanding of the illness in that it goes in cycles of mania and depression, but my husband seems to have been manic for years to have kept doing what he was doing. Is this understandable to anyone?

My husband is getting psychiatric therapy and treatment for depression since June this year and he tells me he cant explain why he did what he did, except that it was the chemical imbalance in his brain caused by bipolar mixed with alcohol. I feel like what he did cant only be explained by saying “I had bipolar” It sounds to me like an excuse. I feel like he took advantage of my complete trust, abused my love for him, hurt me for years without any consideration, disrespected our mariage, lied many times to cover his adulterous life, and even humiliated me in the process. I loved my husband more than anything. I say “loved” because I am greatly hurt and very upset and dissappointed right now. These emotions are currently clouding my feelings for him. He has apologised profusely and maintains that he loves me and that he never stopped loving me even when he was doing what he was doing. Does this make sense to anyone? I simply cant see the future with him (and this hurts a lot) because the wounds are too deep, the trust is lost and I see him with different eyes now. Any advice out there?

I am married to a wonderful man who I love very much. I am in my mid-forties and was only recently diagnosed with being BP. I’ve had severe depression and severe anxiety all my life. During my manic times, I did very stupid things, but yet I made excuses for them (phone sex, affairs, etc.). When I would come down out of my manic phases, I would feel tremendous guilt and hate myself comtemplating suicide (which I eventually tried). Since I have been in therapy and on meds, this has never crossed my mind. I’m not making excuses, I’m just letting you know that may well be an aspect of BP. It was like I was two different people. I just wish I had been diagnosed years ago. I truly feel all of the horrible things I did, might or probably would never have happened. As I said, it was like I was a different person. If he’s willing to stay on meds and stay in therapy, please give him another chance. However, do have him and yourself tested for any STDs.

Thank you for your comments. As a victim of this man’s stalking, threats, sexual harassment and years of creepy behavior I won’t catalog – I find it impossible to believe that his statements at his sentencing are anything but a dog and pony show. This man is a dangerous predator. He didn’t just use prostitutes, he pimped them – including children. I’ve known many bipolar people in my life – none acted in the Charlie-Manson-like manner that this man acts.

I have been diagnosed with bp when I was 24 and I have problems with hypersexuality. This is a symptom not an excuse. But he isn’t using it as an excuse.

I was the investigating Detective in charge of Mr. McFadden’s case. Mr. McFadden had been seeing street prostitutes and escorts on a regular basis for no less then five years. When I say regularly, I am talking almost daily. I had dealt with Mr. McFadden on a personal basis during the investigation. Mr. McFadden NEVER showed any signs of being bi-polar throughout the long term investigation. Years before this, Mr. McFadden was also accused of holding an escort against her will in a hotel room. That was never prosecuted due to pretty much he said she said type of case (No witnesses).

In my opinion, sex addict-yes, bi-polar-no. In my nearly twenty year career, I’ve never known bi-polar people to shoot nude provocative photos of juveniles, create escort websites for the same juvenile females, and then get onto web boards and attempt to introduce the juvenile female to potential adult male clients.

Also consider one more thing. Mr. Mcfadden held a lucrative job at the statehouse working directly for the governor and nobody picked up on anything odd? Please don’t take that as meaning the governor knew what was going on. Nothing in the investigation led us to believe the governor had any idea what was going on.

As a final comment, remember one thing. The comment by Mr. McFadden’s attorney’s about a bi-polar connection was stated for the first time moments before he was being sentenced for his crime.

This man was exploiting a 17 year old girl to pimp or protitute her for money. He is a predator. He may or may not be Bipolar but his crime is being a predator. He is just using it as an exscuse. I hope he rots in jail.

Making excuses or abusing excuses is not only for sexual behaviors,….. Police ,… can make excuses or abuse excuses for harrassing or constantly investigating someone. The innocent man or woman may disagree with them, may refuse to serve the city,.. leadership. It is easy, plus code of silence,…RECO (team work)
Acthung!
Arthur Mboue, MBA, JD

Tina, the things your daughter is wearing is also a normal behavior for young teenagers in 2010. Be aware of how much you are chalking up to being bipolar and what is normal behavior. Just a suggestion to keep some pressure off of everything being about this “problem” you seem to think you have. First I should say, that you should not have the mindset of getting this bipolar thing under control. It is a creative mindset that your daughter has and she needs to work WITH it, and definitely not against it or try to hide it from the people she needs support from. Support is an opinionated word, but do you best to be aware of yourself first since we can only control ourselves. Then be aware of your daughter, and teach her to be aware of her own habits. Her triggers which cause her to “act abnormal”. The less pressure for her that she is wrong, bad, sick, or otherwise negative connotations she can get past sickness labels or any other emotional situations and focus on what works best for her, to be balanced, open minded, peaceful, patient to learn, determined to grow, and responsible to live her life for herself. Excuses are downfall. Creative, well thought out reminders in many different ways are subtle and loving reminders. It might seem like basic concepts for young kids to learn as teenagers “finding themselves”. But for a person with bipolar they are on an intense trip. And remember that always, sometimes it is just a brainwave trip. Hyper sexuality is a trip too, coinciding with emotions!

Stop putting so much pressure on “bipolar” fixes. You are going to have to get over shyness on subjects if you are going to be an honest and quality support system for her. Break barriers and talk about sex objectively and knowledgeably. If she feels shame about sexuality vs. her religion she will have to make a decision of which lifestyle to lead (lukewarm) or stay in denial and self confusion.

Have her create an identity description of who she is now, and who she wants to work on becoming. Anyone she dreams, within reality. Study bipolar and be relaxed about it! It’s not normal yet in society but with your positive attitude about it… we’ll soon be like black people, jewish and gay people in our acceptance within societies norms, right.

Reciting meds to people is common. I find it pointless because our human bodies and experiences are so completely different that an added combination of pills will undoubtedly be different for everyone. So telling someone else that they should try what they use, is like telling them they should use a specific fungus ointment on an unknown rash. you just don’t know.

She is building up pressure in her head about expectations during school. Panic maybe, over analyzing because she is so introverted and focused on herself. She knows things are different in her head. She just can’t connect things yet about how life is, how she is and her even darker secret differences, her paranoias, self identities, …etc. She has bipolar. Albeit a lesser, less severe balance than this guy using his sickness as an excuse. Sometimes, but then.. who draws that line. And when does that line stop getting closer and closer… Life is an opinion. And it’s hard to tell other people what they should do. Should is an opinion.

If she is going into therapy. Have her go for herself, and then for the entire family to better understand family Dynamics and the expectations you all have with each other and including talk of bipolar. Remember your daughter having bipolar is not the only “things” she is. She is not bipolar, she Has bipolar. She is still just a 18 year old kid. Learning to be a woman, but she has to find out who she is as a kid first, even though she’s 18. We ALL need to grow and learn every single day for the rest of our lives, not just 18 year olds. Show good habits, by example. She needs to preoccupy her thoughts and energy with a sport, or an intense activity. People with Bipolar spend too much time creating unimportant things to being important. Focus on important structures and disciplines and it will be easier to teach her restructuring when she is ready, especially after breakdowns. Expect them, grieve for the time lost with her or fucked up situations and then move on and forgive the negative. Stay positive and love unconditionally. Truly.

just as a personal opinion! Christianity is a religion, man made. A person with bipolar often find their lifestyles conflicting with their bad habits. Remind her that faith alone is important to having bipolar. Religion such as Christianity can put too much pressure, guilt, and shame!, which prolongs the growing and learning process. Get back to ground zero of happiness and then start an identity. Faith is knowing that you believe, and you have a relationship with your higher power. God, Buddha, a higher energy, the worlds energies… whatever. It’s good to leave things up to a higher unknown.

If you are being accused of being too strict. maybe you should listen to her more. listen for hours. and then maybe you will understand her more and the woman she is becoming, maybe she’s confused too. And you can then react to this new person you got to know. Instead of still seeing her as your child that you need to protect and possibly fix. Or hide, if you are ashamed of her bipolar. Shame is a good word to study. For her and yourself, anyone.