The lower I go, the less I want or can do without severe struggle. The most mundane and simple tasks become brutal murder to accomplish, including but not limited to getting out of bed. I was close to suicide ideation once, very very low. I thought that I should try to eat something, make something to eat; I looked at a brand new 2 pack of Jiffy peanut butter jars shrink wrapped in plastic on the shelf in the cupboard, and just started crying thinking about how incredibly impossible it was going to be for me to open it. It seemed that difficult.I want to try this technique! Focus can be extremely difficult for me during depressive episodes, and the idea of doing something off-the-wall intrigues me no end. I think I'd have to come up with the idea at the time: if I planned out some unusual activities beforehand, they wouldn't seem unique when I needed them.
I've found that doing something completely odd and unusual was easier than doing something routine. One Christmas season, when ultra-depressed, routine things were, of course, a struggle - but I was able to repair and restore three of those white, wire-form Xmas-light lawn reindeer figures and set them up out in the lawn.
I was also able to do some other very nice outdoor Xmas decorating that year - slowly, but it worked for me. I remember thinking how odd it was. It took hours and hours of playing with 100's of little lights to get them working properly and reattached properly to the wire frames, and looking nice. I couldn't do laundry worth a damn, but restoring light up Xmas reindeer I could accomplish without wanting to blow my brains out.
I believe whatever is going on with our brain materials and chemistry, the brain goes looking for stimulation not in the routine things we do everyday, but in the odd, unique things that get its attention, that stimulate it, that wakes it up - maybe to help keep it from completely shutting down.
What do you think about this? One thing I'm sure of is that I want to remember it so I can give it a try when I need to break out of a serious depression.