Before I was agoraphobic, I would go out binge drinking (I was also a closet drinker). I would black-out and someone would drag me home. Not a pretty sight. Unfortunately my daughter saw me like that a few times. I also tried cocaine, weed, mixed pills with alcohol…you name it, and I’ve tried it (except intravenous drugs). I did anything to kill the pain of depression and to help lessen the mania so I could sleep, because I would be so amped up for no apparent reason.
You also have to learn what your triggers are for mania. Stress, certain medications, panic attacks can be triggers. I was usually treated for major depression. The doctors would prescribe antidepressants, which I found out can trigger mania. So I would get worse instead of better. If you're Bipolar, you have to balance an antidepressant with a mood stabilizing drug like Lithium. Another time, I was given a decongestant for sinusitis and allergies. The medication had an amphetamine in it which triggered a manic episode. I also have to keep my life as stress-free as possible.
Those who are manic have the capability to completely destroy their lives and others’ - job loss, divorce, ruined family ties and friendships to name a few. The biggest problem is saving the person from themselves. Suicide (includes reckless behavior) plays a major role in bipolar disorder, along with psychosis. Psychosis can cause someone with manic depression to be committed. Psychosis can include visual and auditory hallucinations as well as paranoia. Imagine sitting in a doctor's office and all of a sudden you hear gangster voices. I almost ran out of the office, but it passed. Once I was driving on the freeway, and the next thing I knew I saw the freeway rolling up towards me about to swallow me up. However, my biggest problem was the paranoia. It affected my judgment. It caused me to alienate everyone. Now that I'm on an antipsychotic medication, I see the world through rose-colored glasses.
I've always been a high-strung, successful workaholic. I'm a type "A" personality. I used to be a workhorse for whomever I was working. I felt I was superwoman and for many years I was. I would go through spells where I felt so vibrant and vivacious with people. At times I was on top of the world. But then…like clockwork, I would come crashing down. I would go through suicidal depressions and literally hide from people. I would retreat to my bedroom or home. I became agoraphobic (housebound). I wouldn't go out for anything but groceries and necessities. If I had to work, I was quiet and would race home after work. The black cloud was suffocating me. I hit rock bottom. Part of the reason things got so bad had to do with hormones. I had the worst periods. I realized part of these mood swings were cyclic based on my menstrual cycle, triggered by my hormones, which compounded the bipolar disorder. Hypothyroidism + Hormones + Bipolar Disorder = Livin' La Vida Loca!
To top it off, and to further complicate the scenario, I battled and still battle anxiety disorders (SAD, PTSD and panic disorder with agoraphobia). Agoraphobia is severe anxiety, usually brought on by multiple panic attacks that cause avoidance tendencies to a point where you become housebound. Counseling helps.
