I got the nickname "Queenie" because I was the oldest of seven; they said I bossed them around. I literally made the nickname stick after being crowned Homecoming Queen. To this day, I still don't believe it happened. I was terrified of people. I was sweet and nice to everyone but wore this mask to hide my illnesses. I had them all fooled.
Once you get an accurate diagnosis, you're halfway there. Finding the right combination and dosage of prescriptions puts you another quarter of the way there. Next, throw a little psychotherapy in the mix and you're home free.
Being on Medicaid and Welfare helped me to get the medical attention I so desperately needed. Since I wasn't able to work, I applied for SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance). Once that was approved I was able to survive a little better, but you lose the medical coverage. It's taken seven years of investigating to get to the bottom of everything. I'm on Medicare through SSDI, but that doesn't cover much and doesn't cover prescription drugs - mine run $500 a month. I'm able to get help through the low income prescription programs for some medications. I get some doctors’ samples and pay for the rest.
I put eighteen years into the Army, two years shy of Retiring. I couldn't go back in because of the stress factor, plus my Doctor recommended against it. I'm used to being in high profile positions. I tried to take a break when I was at my worst, but the Army was so used to my peak performance that they kept me in high visibility jobs. I had to resort to going into the Inactive Ready Reserve, where you're just on call.
I've been stable for two years now. I'm what you call a high-functioning manic depressive. I'm ready to tackle school and change careers. I found the BVR (Bureau of Vocational Rehabilitation) to be just what I needed. I'm eligible since I'm on SSDI. I'm getting a certificate in desktop publishing. It is a career that accommodates my limitations. The schools have disability services that work with my learning disabilities. This allows me to have a tutor, no limit on timed tests and affords me a quiet area for testing.
I finished my Black & White Photography class and got an "A". I'm doing well in my Desktop Publishing class. The key for me is to take only two classes at a time. I've learned that success for a manic depressive and ADHD'er is to know your limitations. I feel that I'm armed and ready. My dream is to start my own business. The BVR is giving me the tools and the opportunity to make it happen.
I'm already blessed spiritually, and have a very supportive and loving daughter. I've metamorphosed into a strong and powerful woman. I'm starting over and I'm ready to conquer the world!
Thank you for reading my story. If you would like to share your thoughts or contact me, you can can email me at Queenie2004@hotmail.com or follow the link with my byline to a forum discussion.
