Unopposed Antidepressants
In the article The Use of Antidepressants in Treating Bipolar Disorder, there is considerable discussion of the effect of "unopposed" antidepressants on people with latent or undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder. In light of this information - that antidepressants, when taken without a mood stabilizer - can induce manic behavior - my history starts to make more sense.
Dr. Meyer pounced on the crying jag and started asking a lot of new questions. Had I ever had a time when I felt like I didn't need sleep? Yes, that one time. I told him about other extended "highs" I had experienced. We discussed my Prozac history.
I didn't even get around to telling him that two weeks ago, I was driving down the road and I saw in a used car lot THE car I want to own - and I went in and bought it. Had to borrow heavily to do so. It was not a wise move. A classic bipolar behavior.
Finally, he said these words: "Mood stabilizer."
I looked at him. "Mood stabilizer? But that's for Bi--" I stopped.
"Yes," he said. "I think you have Bipolar Disorder."
All new prescriptions. Depakote to stabilize mood. Wellbutrin for antidepressant. Zyprexa to help me sleep. Dr. Meyer, a very careful man, has scheduled a follow-up in eight days, so he's going to keep a watchful eye on my responses to the new meds. He also told me to call if I had any reactions that really worried me.
I'm honestly not scared - yet - of the diagnosis. It's not a complete surprise. What I am nervous about is the medications. For one thing, I have got to lose weight - and both Zyprexa and Depakote are associated with weight gain. But it's more than that. I don't feel bipolar. Good moods don't feel like mania or hypomania to me - they feel like - good moods.
But it's only Day One.
The above is not a fictionalized account of a person receiving the diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. It is what happened on Thursday, May 20, 1999, to me, Marcia, Co-Guide of this site.
Suddenly, all the information I've gathered for the Bipolar Disorder website has a whole new meaning.
Next in this series: Day 14.
