Chat With "Electroboy" - Andy Behrman

February 21, 2002

We were delighted to welcome Andy Behrman, author of Electroboy: A Memoir of Mania, to our chat room for the first of what we hope will be many interesting and informative chats. As you will read, Andy proved to be a delightful guest. Be sure to read our review (opens in a new window) of Andy's outstanding story of a life lived on - and over - the edge.

EchoHOST	We are chatting tonight with Andy Behrman, author of "Electroboy A Memoir of Mania," published by Random House.
ELECTROBOY	So has anyone ever had electroshock therapy ... or just manics ... I had shock treatments and lived to tell the story ... can you top that?
Peanut	They want me to have it
Sunny	No, unless putting finger in light socket counts for ECT
maddog	I almost did. I faked getting better, and missed it by about week.
babblecon	I had two treatments and couldn't tolerate any more
maddog	I am eager to get a copy of your book. I am wondering whether you've had severe experiences related to alcohol, and if you ever found it necessary to join AA or something like that. I am struggling mightily with booze. How'd you finally and ultimately (and permanently) stop the whole booze trip?
ELECTROBOY	I drank alcohol heavily and used cocaine. But I couldn't mix meds with alcohol
babblecon	How long have you been stable?
ELECTROBOY	I've been stable for about three and a half years - pretty even keeled ... do I like being stable - it's a little dull - but you replace the excitement and euphoria with other things... I haven't had shock in five years
EchoHOST	What medications do you take now?
ELECTROBOY	Everybody always asks what I take, and I always have the same answer. I've taken different meds, most haven't worked and they all do different things for different people.
maddog	Did you ever have to file bankruptcy?
ELECTROBOY	No, but I know what it's like to burn through money! I was a shopaholic - more of a spending addict - it wasn't really the act of shopping. There's a slight difference. I gave most of my money away - didn't matter where it went
babblecon	Andy, I'm very impressed with your ability to put the experience of mania into written word
ELECTROBOY	Thank you. ... the book is ready to go into it's fourth printing in one week ... it took two and a half years to write this book
nbritton	Electro, what do you think of rTMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) as an Alt. to ECT?
ELECTROBOY	I think there's some real hope for it as an alternative
EricaHOST	Electroboy, do you see your memoir in the tradition of St Augustine's Confessions or Kathryn Harrison's The Kiss?
ELECTROBOY	Actually I see it as a chronicle of my battle with manic depression - one that started at an early age ... I think manics can be diagnosed at very young ages
butterfly	Electroboy ... are you familiar with vagus nerve stimulation ... if so ... what do you think of it?
ELECTROBOY	No, I am not familiar with vagus nerve stimulation, although it sounds slightly erotic
Siszbox	What do you feel the signs are of early-aged mania?
ELECTROBOY	Racing thoughts, staying up late and not getting sleep, overenthusiasm I was going to say agitation. In my book I say I can't understand how people go to the beach and just lie there, waiting for the sun to hit them. I get so bored.
Peanut	Electroboy, if you had it to do over again, would you have ECT again?
ELECTROBOY	I'm asked that question a lot. I'm not pro-ECT or anti-ECT - it's a personal choice. I had no other route to take. it was either ECT or I was going to find some simple method of killing myself
nbritton	How has it affected your memory?
ELECTROBOY	Initially, my memory was shot - but it came back about six months after the last treatment ... but there are a couple of fuzzy months still.
POPEYE	My mother says it saved her life
ELECTROBOY	Well, it definitely saved my life ...
babblecon	What was it that finally forced the decision for you?
ELECTROBOY	I was hiding in the bathtub because I was so frightened my life was going to end, so I called my doctor and said, "you must to something."
Siszbox	Well, do you feel ECT can take away your "mental sharpness"
ELECTROBOY	I think it can, but I think it can also be restored
ELECTROBOY	I'm back to 100%
nbritton	What is your current diagnosis? Bipolar I?
ELECTROBOY	Yes
EricaHOST	We were wondering about stigma ... and if there's a message you'd like your book to send?
ELECTROBOY	The stigma of having manic depression for me is still a huge issue
EricaHOST	Is that part of why you wrote the book and you're promoting it? Is the stigma internalized or externalized?
ELECTROBOY	When I go into the pharmacy to pick up my meds, I see people staring at my nine prescriptions ... I'm not ashamed, after all, I've written a book where I've talked about my criminal behavior and entire sex life
maddog	I can imagine that writing your story is also in a way kind of an emotional exorcism.
EricaHOST	Is there one message you'd like your readers to take away from the book? What is that message?
ELECTROBOY	Without a doubt, had I had a person in my life who could have given me an ounce of hope, whether in a conversation or in the form of a book, I would be much better off today
EricaHOST	Hope, then, is your message?
ELECTROBOY	Yeah, it sounds corny, but one day you wake up and you're stable
babblecon	That's an important message, because there IS hope for beating this disorder
Capt	Would you say rather than hope inspiration EBOY?
ELECTROBOY	Hope and inspiration, I suppose
nbritton	What do you think of Jamison's books Eboy?
ELECTROBOY	I have a lot to say about Dr. Jamison - I hope you will all listen
maddog	Oooooh, don't get me started on the fabulous, world-famous, vainglorious Kay Jamison!!!
ELECTROBOY	I think Dr. Jamison is a great writer, but I don't feel like she is responsible when she tells the media that if she had the choice of being a manic depressive or not, she would choose being a manic depressive because it has given her a unique perspective ... those might not be her exact quotes.
POPEYE	Have many BP's in my family. how about you Electro
trying	That is what all the research I have conducted has indicated is that is genetic
ELECTROBOY	None in my immediate family
butterfly	Electroboy ... as I am slowly writing a book on the justice system and being bipolar ... how hard was it to get this book published?
ELECTROBOY	This one I think God took care of!!!
EricaHOST	How's that Electroboy? you started with an article?
ELECTROBOY	Yes, and then several agents approached me to write a book
EchoHOST	The same article we published here, Andy?
ELECTROBOY	They wanted a book about manic depression - but they wanted drugs, sex, crime, alcohol, spending, traveling, etc. I told them I would tell my story and if those elements were there, than they would be in the chronicle
ELECTROBOY	Yes, the same article
EchoHOST	No wonder I feel like a proud mother!
ELECTROBOY	Thank you very much, I appreciate it
butterfly	It was meant to be obviously
EchoHOST	But you are a gifted writer.
butterfly	And you did a super job
Peanut	How did you go about getting your article published?
ELECTROBOY	I had written for the editor of a local New York paper and he had climbed the ladder to be the editor of the New York times magazine
ELECTROBOY	My website shutdown today - I was very calm and just went for a walk until it went back up. I don't know if I'm allowed to do this, but a website called www.crime.com has written a feature on the mind of a manic depressive criminal which just went on line today - it's fantastic and the graphics are incredible ... let them know what you think of this "psychological" look into the mind of a manic criminal ... gosh, the time is going fast!
ELECTROBOY	I'm starting my tour in Seattle
ELECTROBOY	I'll be in Chicago, too
ELECTROBOY	I'll be in Austin and Dallas
POPEYE	Good luck to you Electro
ELECTROBOY	I'll be in Seattle march 11th
ELECTROBOY	IM GLAD PEOPLE ARE COMING OUT TO LISTEN ... sorry for the caps
Sunny	EB - do you have obsessive thoughts also and guilt related to manic episodes
ELECTROBOY	Sure, I definitely have guilt, but I'm working on it ... all of my neuroses, obsessions and little quirks have mellowed ... I felt guilt for being a manic depressive and putting this burden on my parents
EricaHOST	What helps "work on the guilt" Andy
maddog	How 'bout booze and cocaine? Did you try a step program, and if so, did you find it helpful, and if you didn't use one, can you comment on why not?
trying	EB, do you think the mellow comes with age over time
ELECTROBOY	The mellowing came with medication!
EricaHOST	Your parents are very supportive, Electroboy?
ELECTROBOY	Extremely supportive, but shocked by the book - absolutely shocked
EricaHOST	The sex stuff Electro?
ELECTROBOY	The sex, the drugs, the crime, the lifestyle they never knew I had ... but today they're proud and can deal with the reality of the illness and ordered 60 copies on amazon.com ... I thought that was a little excessive, but they said they have no shame and would give the book to their friends or people who had bipolar friends and kids
alyPink^	Electro--may I ask ... how old you are now? how old you were when you started the book ... and how old when you finished?
ELECTROBOY	Exercise yes. used to be addicted to it. ... started the book at 37, now 40
weez	Do you consider yourself leveled out ... or are you still going up and down
ELECTROBOY	I consider myself as having a chronic illness which I have to monitor every day and every day there are ups and downs - this is a not a disease with a cure
CatamiaHost	EB- how has Bipolar effected your relationships with a partner?
ELECTROBOY	Relationships with a partner - broke up one seven year relationship - horrible
EricaHOST	How long ago was that Electroboy?
ELECTROBOY	More than ten years ago
bluemoon	EB.. sorry if this was already covered ... how did you get a publisher interested in your story/mental health story?
ELECTROBOY	Sit down, and think of every episode and event that has ever occurred in your life and give it a title and then start sketching in and don't think about what it looks like
ELECTROBOY	Does anybody know any good books on manic depression
EricaHOST	My favorite is Styron "Darkness Visible"
ELECTROBOY	I liked it
weez	Um Danielle Steel - His Bright Light ... about her son
bluemoon	There's nonfiction by Kay Jamison ... An Unquiet Mind
ELECTROBOY	Great book, but not exactly beach reading ... joke
ELECTROBOY	ELECTROBOY is more of a frightening roller coaster ride ... it's fun, but you feel very close to death at time
POPEYE	Have you ever been psychotic
ELECTROBOY	Yes, I've hallucinated
ELECTROBOY	None of these authors talk about their blood and guts and their illness - it's raw and gritty - it's painful - Electroboy is not a pleasant book - although some people have called it "harrowing and hilarious" ... if you can handle some tough language and some nudity, it won't kill you, I promise ... it was my real life
butterfly	I appreciate you telling the real story EB
ELECTROBOY	Electroboy is the real story and I think a lot of psychiatrists will be shocked
ELECTROBOY	Especially those who administer ECT
bluemoon	I don't think psychiatrists really really know what is going on inside our heads ...
Peanut	EB, were or are you classified as refractory?
ELECTROBOY	Not classified as refractory
ELECTROBOY	Does this keep going if people want to keep going the room has members spread out all over the country - all with the same damn illness - incredible ... I'm willing to keep going
EricaHOST	How does it feel to talk to other BP folks about your experience EB?
ELECTROBOY	Yeah, I talked to a reporter today from CBS and she didn't really seem to understand my use of the word "impulsive" when it came to talking about bipolar
ELECTROBOY	HAS anyone who is bipolar ever been in trouble with the law?
EricaHOST	I plead the fifth
bohemianbluz	Lotsa trouble with the law
ELECTROBOY	I plead the fifth, too, and got five months in prison, five months house arrest
maddog	Oh, yes, Eboy!!! I um ... I am now!!!
ELECTROBOY	They offered me a deal - rat on your co-conspirators and we'll give you hours of community service.
EricaHOST	This wasn't the Limelight deal EB?
ELECTROBOY	No, this was forging counterfeit paintings ... I thought it was a good idea at the time ... who knew I would end up indicted ... a friend and I schemed it up together ... I was good at it, until I got caught
EchoHOST	Sounded to me like that so-called "artist" was the bigger fraud.
ELECTROBOY	But the best part of the book is that all of the bad guys, they get named. real names. they're scared to death.
EricaHOST	How can you forge a Kostabi?????
ELECTROBOY	You can't
maddog	Wow, you sound like you have some moral integrity, EBOY.
bluemoon	What's a Kostabi
ELECTROBOY	An artist named mark Kostabi - popular in 1990
EricaHOST	Kostabi hired other people to execute his concepts
ELECTROBOY	I'm not on his top ten list of favorite people ... I think I'm still primary target # 1
EricaHOST	EB, where do you go from here with your life? you've been stable for years, you said ... you've got a book out ... what's next?
ELECTROBOY	I try to somehow travel to about twenty cities to talk about manic depression and my version of it - my story ... I have a new book coming out that starts off almost exactly where this one ends, but it has much more to do with other people's lives ... still a memoir and the publisher is Random House. they took a big risk publishing this book
EricaHOST	Do you feel like a professional manic depressive?
ELECTROBOY	That's what I like about Kay Jamison, she calls it manic depression.
ELECTROBOY	I'm the poster boy for mental health for the year . I was the poster boy for excess in the year 1993.
EmprsStar	Is there a difference? BP and manic depression?? I never thought there was
ELECTROBOY	No real difference
ELECTROBOY	I guess it doesn't really matter what it's called - but it's a chronic illness that can't be cured
maddog	So, um, what about the whole booze/cocaine/addiction bit? Did you find a step program? helpful, and if so or not, why?
ELECTROBOY	I went to Alanon for years ... made a lot of good friends
EricaHOST	Has writing helped you accept having the disorder?
ELECTROBOY	Yeah, facing fifteen years of "craziness" and having to go back and relive those nightmarish years was horrible and finally convinced me that I was the one who was ill
ELECTROBOY	Shocking
EricaHOST	Even the Electro shock treatments didn't really do that acceptance?
ELECTROBOY	It's why I can't read the book today
EricaHOST	You can't read it?
ELECTROBOY	No, not really
butterfly	(((((((((((Electroboy)))))))))))))
EricaHOST	Still too raw?
ELECTROBOY	It's like some awful story that you don't want to listen to, but you know you have to
EricaHOST	The ultimate denial breaker?
nbritton	What's the time frame you think that it will take doctors to find a cure and/or a cause and a test for BP
BigAl	Sounds like you need to come here more often for support
ELECTROBOY	Absolutely ... probably ... I'm not cured
maddog	Addiction is the ultimate denial breaker
dreamfish	Addiction IS denial.
ELECTROBOY	I'm sure addiction will always be a problem even if it's diet coke caffeine free
maddog	It either breaks the person, or the person breaks it.
theBat^ `fastard^`	Do you think doing dumbarse things while you are drunk , that you may or may not do sober, count for anything towards being bipolar?
EricaHOST	Is that part of bipolar disorder for you or separate?
ELECTROBOY	Yeah, I self medicated a lot with alcohol the addictions go hand in hands with the mania
ELECTROBOY	Does anyone listening to National Public Radio's "All things considered?" I'm taping tomorrow - manic depression is the subject - I'll somehow have to post the airdate
EricaHOST	EB, had one last question, very important. Who do you want to play you in the movie?
ELECTROBOY	Well, the rights were sold to HBO, and then the option ran out, and they were considering Tobey Maguire. But now, the rights are for sale again, and they're looking for a 28 year old and almost every producer wants Ewan McGregor
ELECTROBOY	I'm just a guy with a computer who can bang out some sentences
EricaHOST	EB, I thought you had film training?
ELECTROBOY	Me, film training? I directed a short and produced a feature documentary. it's amazing what you can do when you're manic I had a low level job and worked my way up
SurrealArt	Then HOW did you get your story to the right people???? I have a story too ... .
bluemoon	Yes ... how did you get them interested in a mental health story??
ELECTROBOY	Everybody likes mental health stories if they have something different to say. ELECTROBOY is not ... I don't want people to feel like they have to empathize.
Guest	Is the book available on cassette?
maddog	Are we talking about Ms. Jamison?
ELECTROBOY	No, not on cassette. [yet - Ed.]
ELECTROBOY	Anyone read anything by Susannah Kayzen
EricaHOST	"Girl Interrupted"
ELECTROBOY	I couldn't finish it. I felt like slitting my wrists and rolling around in the dirt.
ELECTROBOY	Mania is certainly more fun to discuss than depression - not that it's humorous -- but it lends itself to entertainment
EricaHOST	EB, so your book will make us run out and forge paintings?
ELECTROBOY	Don't forge paintings - because then you have to scrub toilets for three hours a day
EchoHOST	This is true - I have an awful time reading anything depressing and avoid depressing movies like the plague.
nbritton	You are welcome here anytime EB
ELECTROBOY	I did read Andrew Solomon's book, noonday demon and loved it. He's a smart guy. again, not beach reading
Guest	I'm sorry if I missed it, how young were you Andy when you began to display symptoms?
ELECTROBOY	My e-mail address is electroboy@electroboy.com
ELECTROBOY	Gotta be honest - bathroom break. I'm staying ... I'll be back in one minute
ELECTROBOY	I'm not couth, nor is "Electroboy" couth ... boy ... my mother asked me where I got such a foul mouth after she read the book and I said mom, may I remind you who gave birth to me
theBat^ `fastard^`	Think your book will one day outsell the Bible EB?
ELECTROBOY	I don't want to outsell the Bible, just Elizabeth Wurtzel!
weez	Working on it
EchoHOST	I have to go - have to work tomorrow and morning comes too early. Andy, THANK YOU for coming and don't let these marathon talkers keep you longer than you want to stay. But we hope you'll come again!
ELECTROBOY	Bye Marcia
busygirl	EB, you have a lot of courage baring your soul like you have. I applaud you, but I somehow suspect that you enjoy the attention -)
ELECTROBOY	Busygirl - of course I enjoy attention - I'm the youngest child and grew up with a lot of neglect ... I only have one sister ... just joking ... but can you imagine being one of and being the only manic depressive - what luck
mixedstates	EB does your web site have the cities you will be visiting
ELECTROBOY	So, should we all meet right now for a drink somewhere centrally located?
ELECTROBOY	I'll post on my website my city by city tour that starts on march
mixedstates	Thanks that way I can let the members of my local manic depressive association know.
ELECTROBOY	I don't know if anybody has seen Electroboy signs in New York city
EricaHOST	I think I saw a homeless guy with an Electroboy sandwich board on 51st Street ... just kidding
ELECTROBOY	That's my old street ... don't scare me ... I still owe rent ... .about a year's worth from ten years ago
EricaHOST	How many neighborhoods did you go through EB? I went through 11 or so
ELECTROBOY	How many apartments is the question. Maybe ten or eleven.
bohemianbluz	They are coming to get you for that rent now that you have a book!!
ELECTROBOY	Oh, everybody is coming after me now that I have a book. it's time to change the phone number and get the new lock installed - joking
EricaHOST	Anyway, was asking you how you've supported yourself the past few years since "stability"
ELECTROBOY	I was really fortunate that at the time I lost my job, I collected social security and had put away money for retirement, and then when I became ill, I had taken out a personal disability policy. And then, I signed a deal with my publisher and HBO. so at the end, it all worked out.
theBat^ `fastard^`	Hey EB ... .DO you think that my moving around so much has a lot to do with being manic ... I mean I just up and go sometimes real fast with little notice ... Move away ... I lived in Chicago, Washington, California, Minnesota, Oregon, Idaho and Colorado
ELECTROBOY	Jumping around like that sounds like an indicator - but I don't know what you do where you go
BigAl	Bat, I have done that with the planet
maddog	Holy Kee-rist, RatBastard ... you and I are BROTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BigAl	Lived in the US Japan, UK, Africa, 6 countries in total
ELECTROBOY	Countries - are you mad!
BigAl	I am sure it is linked to BP
ELECTROBOY	Of course ...
BigAl	Just a wanderer ...get on planes when I get depressed or manic ... you end up where nobody knows you, so nobody to say you depressed or manic
ELECTROBOY	I did that too ... I find it's a common thing amongst manics
bohemianbluz	EB ... gonna be on any TV talk shows ?
ELECTROBOY	Yeah, I'm doing the circuit,
bohemianbluz	Do you know when you begin the circuit ??
ELECTROBOY	Does anybody have a very good ear for foreign languages?
nbritton	Computer languages
ELECTROBOY	I meant French, Spanish, Japanese, etc.
EricaHOST	More evidence I'm not really bipolar, because I'm terrible at languages
ELECTROBOY	Does anyone have a Bookstar near them
BigAl	I have searched all our bookstores and no books on BP. The only way to get them is to order online
ELECTROBOY	Big Al - where are you
BigAl	Jerusalem
ELECTROBOY	Amazon.com they'll deliver to Jupiter!
ELECTROBOY	It's almost pill time here on the Upper West Side of Manhattan ... .
ELECTROBOY	Tegretol made the backs of my hands itch
ELECTROBOY	Are we still chatting with that God awful ELECTROBOY who promotes that insane book ? Why doesn't he just finish that second book?
CatamiaHost	EB- have you taken Topamax- if so what do you think about it?
ELECTROBOY	Yes, but it did nothing for me. It did prevent me from gaining weight. It worked like Meridia.
EricaHOST	Are you crafting your image for the media EB? you know, downtown NYC artist type
ELECTROBOY	Hardly. golden boy from the suburbs gone mad.
EricaHOST	Or brooding Upper West Side leather elbow pads type?
ELECTROBOY	No jackets with elbow pads - just ELECTROBOY T-shirts and long sleeve T-shirts
busygirl	EB, are all the pics at crime.com really of you???
ELECTROBOY	Yeah, which ones are you doubting.
busygirl	None, I'm enjoying them ;-) especially the one of you in you blue undies
ELECTROBOY	It's kind of foolish. but send them a nice note telling them you love the website and picked up the website address from about.com
Guest	Oops forgot to say congrats EB ... very proud
EricaHOST	You wrote this book for all of us, I think
CatamiaHost	(Plays Sound applause.wav) applause
EricaHOST	If we may share that?
ELECTROBOY	I like applause
ELECTROBOY	I love that - can I do that, too? (Plays Sound explosion.wav) hello
ELECTROBOY	Plays Sound crash.wav) I think this is the best for promotion
ELECTROBOY	I SPILLED DIET COKE ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD TODAY, TOTALLY DESTROYED IT. ANY SUGGESTIONS.
EricaHOST	New keyboard
ELECTROBOY	I DID THAT.
Simon	Buy another one
ELECTROBOY	BUT IS THE OLD ONE DEAD
Simon	If it was on when you spilled the coke, it fried the circuits, if it was off, then just let it dry out
CatamiaHost	Andy can I just say I am proud to have someone out there in the world sharing and teaching the world what people fear, the stigma of bipolar disorder!
ELECTROBOY	I'm not ashamed anymore - well, sometimes when my hands shake
ELECTROBOY	I got thrown out of a Barnes & Noble store for suggesting my book to a customer standing near it. I felt like I had committed the worst crime ... I was merely suggesting a book in the psychology section and I thought since I was standing there, it might be kind of neat to steer her towards mine
Slon	Is there any truth to the idea that Lithium is more effective in preventing suicide than other mood stabilizers? (tell me if I shouldn't be asking general questions right now)
ELECTROBOY	I don't know that much about lithium except that it works for 70% of manic depressives and it's the other 30% who are at higher risk of suicide
theBat^ `fastard^`	Lithium tastes good on garlic toast
ELECTROBOY	Love it on rye
alyPink^	Electro--what do you think of this chat room?
ELECTROBOY	I kind of like this chatroom - fast - not too fast
ELECTROBOY	Rook, do I know you?
Rook	Probably not. We have lead similar lives ... but you were more successful.
ELECTROBOY	Okay - let's play a game. Whoever can name the capital of United Arab Emirates wins an Electroboy T-shirt
Rook	Qatar
ELECTROBOY	Qatar is right. rook - e-mail me later your address and I'll send you one - they're pretty cool black with yellow writing and on the back it says somebody fixed my brain this morning
SurrealArt	You send them by E-mail???? Lol
ELECTROBOY	Tell me what size you are s, m, l, xl
Peanut	Will you fix my brain for me too, EB?
ELECTROBOY	Does everybody here know rook?
alyPink^	Rook is a coooolllll dude ... my buddy
ELECTROBOY	ROOK, I GOT LOST I was lost in cyberspace for only five minutes, but it felt like an eternity ... I needed a computer genius today ... can you imagine this guy sent out more than 400,000 announcements that ELECTROBOY was now in the bookstores?, it was a spamming error - some people got it 30, 40, 50 times. and then he blamed me. I felt like a jerk. but I did get some very funny responses. one woman from England wrote, you have obviously found somebody more manic than yourself to handle your computer affairs. I e-mailed penguin, the publisher of ELECTROBOY in England and told them to send her a book.
ELECTROBOY	I'm just taping all things considered. I hope nobody stumps me. I hope there's no a surprise guest like Kay Jamison or Dr. Frederick Goodwin
arrow	Electroboy, do you get paid if one steals your book
ELECTROBOY	No, I only get paid if it goes through the cash register
Starflyr	Hey, when I'm done with school maybe I'll publish a book too
ELECTROBOY	Do it ... submit it ... circulate it ... make everybody read it ... mail it to everybody you know who knows somebody who makes decisions to publish -- send it blind with something original.
ELECTROBOY	How often do you guys see your psychopharmacologists? twice a month here. a lot of phone conversations, though. I do group, too. my group was concerned that I was going to write about them in my book. I used them as prototypes for characters, but I certainly don't give out physical descriptions, job titles or names
Starflyr	Question - (sorta random, if off topic please let me know) does anybody else ever feel like they're not "sick enough" to really be BP?
ELECTROBOY	Never. I'm sick when I'm well
ELECTROBOY	A memoir of mania was an accidental addition to the title. I really wanted to call it the adventures of Electroboy. but then the publisher said, "nobody will believe it's a serious book about manic depression" Electroboy is bad enough to be called since I've been called Andyboy my whole life
EricaHOST	Do you wear a little electric shock hat?
ELECTROBOY	No, but someone gave me a sterling steel lightning rod for my birthday. it's a pin.
Guest930	EB, how old are you?
ELECTROBOY	I just turned 40, but since I've been extremely ill since I was 29, I say I'm about 32
Guest930	Have you ever had a problem with hearing voices?
ELECTROBOY	No, just visual hallucinations and tactile "attacks"
Siszbox	What does that mean?
ELECTROBOY	It means you sometimes, for example, feel a razor slitting your tongue. Or sometimes imagine the soles of your feet being destroyed by the concrete. and they are bloody and bruised.
Guest930	Do you think depression from BP can cause the voices ... and do you think ECT would stop them?
ELECTROBOY	Do you think you can water an orchid with milk? what kind of voices? does it sound like it's coming from inside or outside.
Guest930	He says they sound like him sometimes. Then he also says there are evil voices that scare him. Then other times he says "they're going to expose him".
ELECTROBOY	Schizophrenia?
EricaHOST	Does ECT help schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder?
ELECTROBOY	Absolutely! I knew more schizoaffective/schizophrenics in the hospital there for ECT than I did manic depressives or depressives
Guest930	They had him on only Risperdal for two months with no relief. I think they couldn't convince themselves it wasn't drug abuse. Finally, they switched to Haldol and only last week added the Zyprexa.
ELECTROBOY	Zyprexa worked very well for me, then I tried Risperdal which was wonderful but now I'm on Seroquel, and I've had the best luck with it
Cahlan	I take Seroquel, too, along w/Depakote
ELECTROBOY	Cahlan - me too same combo
ELECTROBOY	Tonight I was asked to speak on camera about manic depression and addiction ... and the interviewer asked me this broad question: "do you feel like addiction, in any way, is connected to manic depression?"
Siszbox	EB what do you think of our chat? Will you come back again sometime?
ELECTROBOY	of course, I'll come back, when's the best and busiest time
EricaHOST	9 pm - 1 am
ELECTROBOY	thank you ... I mean it ... I usually have weird experiences on line
Cahlan	It's a great place, Electroboy. I only discovered it a couple months ago and I try to check in at least 2 or 3 times a week
ELECTROBOY	most people don't like the fact that I have written about fifteen really rough years, and I don't know exactly why I get that message ... I don't think any of us here are asking to be pitied.
EricaHOST	sometimes I'm asking for pity though
ELECTROBOY	HELL I WISH I COULD MAKE THE FONT TEN THOUSAND FEET HIGH THAT'S HOW HIGH MY HELL WAS EVEN WHEN I WAS HIGH
Siszbox	{{{{{{{{{{{hug for Andy}}}}}}}}}}}}}
ELECTROBOY	IT CAME OUT IN HARDCOVER ON TUESDAY - SHOULD BE EASY TO FIND CHEAPEST WAY TO GET IT IS ON AMAZON.COM IT'S $17, WHICH STILL ISN'T CHEAP, BUT IT AIN'T $27 like it is in the bookstore
EricaHOST	oops caps locks EB
ELECTROBOY	So one more time, does anybody know Juli Lawrence at ect.org?
Peanut	Never talked to her EB, but I have read her posts ... I lurk on ect.org only because my pdoc wants me to have ECT
ELECTROBOY	I'm not pro-ECT and definitely not anti-ECT - just think it's a personal choice and one you have to make in a crisis mode and you need as much information as possible. It's really horrible to have to make it in a crisis and you find that your family makes it for you. Peanut...why does your doc want to give you ECT
Peanut	Because I'm refractory and I'm on my last possible med combo now
ELECTROBOY	Anyone have any weird marking on their skin from meds - like blotchiness or spotting I have what they call purpura-spotting on the top of my feet and my ankles and my two young nieces think it's funny would you believe they don't know where it comes from.
EricaHOST	I think it helps a lot to maintain regular habits in eating and sleeping tedious as THAT is
ELECTROBOY	I agree it's hard to do though, when you have one million things racing through your head
ELECTROBOY	The group is still holding steady at 21 I feel like this is a Jerry Lewis marathon. is this the longest chat in about.com history? This is my first one.
ScottS	EB are you coming to Cincinnati?
ELECTROBOY	I'm doing five cities in Ohio in April - Dayton, Akron, Toledo, Cincinnati, Cleveland and Columbus. of course. My publisher told me not to bother with Canada, and I laughed and said, what, don't you think there are any manic depressives in Canada? Random House Canada is publishing me so I'll do the big papers and a couple of radio shows and go out west, too
arrow	Is your schedule posted on you site EB
ELECTROBOY	Bring your friends, their friends, their enemies, anyone you can pull off the street I will post a schedule soon. But then people start asking you to come speak in weird places, like El Paso. Although there's a huge support group there, El Paso is kind of out of the way the answer is to go on "Oprah Winfrey" and hit 253 cities in one day
ELECTROBOY	HEY YOU GUYS, THIS HAS BEEN A LOT OF FUN, I'LL COME BACK, I'M NOT LEAVING FOR MY TOUR UNTIL MARCH 10TH. Any of you guys want to e-mail me, you can at electroboy@electroboy.com or go to my website at http://www.electroboy.com.
nbritton	it was nice of you to come
ELECTROBOY	YOU'RE WELCOME. I'M GOING TO ORDER ANOTHER COPY OF ELECTROBOY TO IMPROVE MY RANKING. ON AMAZON.COM I'M VERY COMPETITIVE!!