To me, bipolar disorder is:
- blushing in anger
- freezing in place like an animal caught in the headlights and praying to the building gods that the floor will conveniently open up and make me disappear
- furtively scuttling to the store across the street in some belief that because it's night, no one will see me
- not answering the phone, the mail, the email, the doorbell
- taking two weeks to rescue laundry from the laundromat and having to pay $20 in ransom charges
- realizing that I am still talking ten minutes after the topic has changed
- hearing the decibel level of my voice rise
These are all ways of saying that bipolar disorder is not being in control of my own intentions.
