I Keep Thinking About Death—Am I Depressed?

Does thinking about death all the time mean that you're depressed? If you've been diagnosed with a mood disorder like major depression, bipolar disorder, or another mental health disorder, you may be preoccupied with thoughts of death.

This might include symptoms such as passively wishing you were dead, actively beginning to plan your death, or becoming absorbed in thoughts of dying.

Preoccupation with death can be a symptom of depression and other mental illnesses. Here's why having a mental health condition can make you have these feelings and what you can do to address them.

What Might Cause Thoughts of Death?

If you are always thinking about death, it is normal to wonder if you might be depressed. Depression is one cause, but other factors might cause you to think about death often.

Depression

Thinking about death or wishing you were dead can be a symptom of depression. If you are also experiencing other symptoms, it is essential to talk to a doctor.

Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar depression is similar to major depression. The main difference is that if you have bipolar disorder and are experiencing a depressive episode, you may be more likely than a person with unipolar depression to have "mixed" symptoms. A mixed episode of bipolar disorder can include agitation (both mental and physical), irritability, anger, and anxiety.

Single symptoms are rarely present; rather, there are different groups of symptoms that are common. Groupings of symptoms may include changes in activity levels, physical changes, emotional pain, difficult moods, and changes in thought patterns.

Intrusive or Obsessive Thoughts

If you constantly have obsessive, intrusive thoughts about death or dying, it might be a sign of a condition such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

OCD involves experiencing obsessions and/or compulsions that interfere with your daily life or cause distress. Some people engage in behaviors (compulsions), but the condition can also involve thoughts, such as those centered on death, without compulsions.

Research has found that having OCD significantly increases a person's risk of experiencing suicidal ideation.

PTSD is a condition that can occur after a person has experienced a traumatic event. In addition to flashbacks, anxiety, and nightmares, people also experience intrusive thoughts. Research has found that PTSD is a risk factor for suicide.

Grief

Losing a loved one can also cause people to experience a preoccupation with death. You might think of death often or even find yourself wishing for your own death. Grief is a natural response to loss, but it can also lead to prolonged problems if it turns into what is known as complicated grief.

This condition affects around 7% of bereaved people and can lead to intrusive thoughts of death or suicidal thinking.

Types of Suicidal Ideation

Having suicidal thoughts, also referred to as suicidal ideation, is a hallmark symptom of major depression and depressive episodes in bipolar disorder. Suicidal ideation can be passive (thinking about death often but not acting on these thoughts) or active (making plans to act on suicidal thoughts).

Passive Suicidal Ideation

Passive suicidal ideation involves thinking about death to a marked degree. These thoughts may take the form of imagining yourself dead or wishing you were dead. While passive suicidal ideation may be frequent, intense, and intrusive, you are not taking action or planning to harm yourself in response to these thoughts.

You may have these thoughts without feeling the urge to act on them. For example, your family, work responsibilities, or your religious/philosophical beliefs may deter you from making suicide plans.

"I wish I was dead" is a common phrase many people utter without meaning, such as when expressing embarrassment or exasperation in a joking manner. However, someone who is depressed may use these words to convey that they are not coping well—and this is no joke.

Active Suicidal Ideation

With active suicidal ideation, "I wish I were dead" progresses to thoughts or plans for following through on those feelings. The progression from thinking to planning can be spurred on by a number of factors, such as stressful life events or the flux of your mental illness symptoms.

Suicidal thoughts are most often caused by the culmination of these factors, which leaves you feeling trapped, overwhelmed, and out of control. You may feel guilty and as though you are a burden to others. You may be hopeless and convinced that your life will never get better.

A person's thoughts usually have elements of both passive and active suicidal ideation—often with no clear separation. Being aware of where you are on the spectrum between passive and active can give you insight into how well you cope with and manage your mental health.

Whether or not you have made a suicide plan, the thoughts associated with active suicidal ideation must be taken seriously. Research shows that decision-making processes are altered when someone attempts suicide.

Managing Suicidal Thoughts

If you or someone you care about is having suicidal thoughts, it's very important that you seek help. Whether it's a trusted family member, friend, doctor, or mental health professional, these feelings do not have to be (and shouldn't have to be) faced alone.

Depression, bipolar disorder, and other mental illnesses can be treated. If you are trying to cope with mental illness know that there are resources, such as online and in-person support groups, that may be able to help. If you are helping a loved one who is dealing with mental illness, there are also support groups for caregivers that can offer resources.

Where to Reach Out

If you are having persistent thoughts about death and dying, reach out to someone in your life who is trustworthy and compassionate. If you don't have someone in your family or group of friends that you can talk to, look to others in your community, such as clergy, counselors, and health care providers.

You can also reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or visit the website to use the online chat feature any time day or night. These resources are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

You may be hesitant to talk about suicide openly, as the topic is sometimes considered taboo and a pervasive stigma is attached to mental illness. However, if someone you love is depressed and you are concerned they are suicidal, it's vital that you ask them directly if they are thinking about harming themselves.

If your loved one admits they are feeling suicidal, having thoughts about death, or making plans based on those thoughts, the first thing you need to do is make sure they are safe. From there, you can reach out to the appropriate resources for help.

Avoiding Impulsivity

If you are having thoughts of suicide or feeling that you wish you were dead, avoid making any impulsive decisions or taking drastic actions. While the feelings you are having may be intense and distressing, try to remember that they will pass.

When you are depressed it can be difficult to recognize that you have an impact on others. The ripple effect of your actions is felt throughout your personal and professional life, your school, and your community. It may not seem or feel like it, but there are people in your life who care about you.

If you reach out to them, chances are they will be more than willing to support you. Even if the people in your life aren't sure how to help, they can be present with you as you work to identify the resources, support, and treatment that you need.

Help is Available

If you have thoughts of death and dying but have no immediate plans to harm yourself, call your doctor or therapist as soon as possible. These feelings and thoughts may indicate that you have a mental health disorder that hasn't been diagnosed yet.

If you have already been diagnosed with a mental health condition, feeling suicidal can indicate you need to adjust your treatment. You may need to change or increase your medication, begin psychotherapy, or pursue inpatient/outpatient mental health treatment.