How do you treat a person with a mental illness?
LIKE A PERSON!!
I only ask one thing of my loved ones, and that is: Please treat me the same as you would anyone else - or ALMOST ...
- If I am annoying you, perhaps calling 15 times per day, say so.
- If I am getting loud and obnoxious, tell me, please!
- If I seem very depressed and am not getting out, I wouldn't mind a gentle reminder that I'll feel better faster if I get out a little, or get up and take a shower once in a blue moon ... nice, but not necessary.
The only thing I hope people will realize is that I don't do these things just to be an annoying, though it sure can seem that way. I only ask that you don't hold it against me and make a bigger issue out of it than it really is. Please remember that these are symptoms of an illness I didn't ask for and am not too thrilled with either.
I have been very lucky. My good pals understand and will say, hey, you don't need to leave 20 messages in two hours on my machine, one will do just fine. I have finally convinced people to tell me when/if they think I am going off the deep end rather than tell me once I am in the hospital that they knew I was going that way and getting sick!
People, please, TELL me! I honestly can't see it when it is happening, and I may not believe you, but I will appreciate your honesty and it will help me to get help sooner. And who knows, eventually all it will take is one concerned friend or relative to say the word and I'll call the doc and get straightened out before things get to the point of hospitalization.
Treat me like a person.
--by CrowsRCrows, About.com Bipolar forum member
The Take-Home Message
First, know the person you're dealing with. Angel, another forum member who answered when we asked the definition of supportive, helpful behavior, wrote that trying to get her out of the house when she was depressed feels to her like pressuring and only makes things worse. CrowsRCrows appreciates the reminder. Some people will appreciate being told that 15 messages are too much; others will react with anger. You can only find out by trying different approaches.
Think about what you would do if the messages came from someone you didn't know had bipolar disorder. Eliminate the option of an angry response. Then try a cheerful, honest approach such as CrowsRCrows suggests. If nothing works, and the behavior continues, perhaps the person is in a worse state than you realized.
If you think your friend's mental condition and/or behavior are going out of control, try, "I'm concerned about this," or "You're reaching the point where you were hospitalized last time." If the person brushes it off, you may need to get more emphatic: "If you don't call your psychiatrist now, you're going to end up in the hospital" or even, "I'm taking you to the hospital," if you're convinced the condition is that serious. And sometimes none of this will work. You may have to call 911. Don't walk away if the person is obviously a danger to himself or to others.
If you care, you'll make an effort to learn what needs to be done to help and support the individual you know who has BP.
