Believe in Me

Speaking from Experience

We asked our forum community to tell us what they need from their family members -- to define "supportive" behavior. Lia wrote:

The most important way a significant other or family member can help me is by understanding me. I may act in ways that aren't normal -- realize that this is due to Bipolar. You can best do this by reading avidly up on this disease, learning the characteristics of this illness and the actions that it may cause me to do, so that you are not surprised if one or two of them happen.

Through understanding me you can empathize with some of the difficulties I experience. I don't need nor want your pity, but empathy goes a long way. It allows you to see why I may do something that would puzzle you if you had not read about my illness.

Trust me, yet know when to step in. By this I mean allow me to live my life independently and freely. Don't count my pills or tell me to take my medications. Let me make all my decisions as I would normally, yet recognize the warning signs of depression and mania and get medical help for me if I am unable at the time to do so.

Read up on the medications that I am taking so that you know what possible side effects I may be experiencing. If a pill is making me very ill, then take over the running of life such as children or planning until either the side effects calm down or I quit taking the pill in search of one which may suit me better.

But most of all, believe in me and support me in my choices. Believe in me when I am going through a hard phase, tell me that I will get better because you have faith in who I am, and support me because you love me.

--by Lia, About.com Bipolar forum member

The Take-Home Message

As much as you read about bipolar disorder, your loved one will still surprise you. Not everyone can be trusted to live life "independently and freely," but many people with bipolar disorder can.

There will be times when you don't know whether to step in or not. If your best effort makes your loved one seem out of control, for example, it may be time to call his or her psychiatrist. Experience will come in time.

We offer some information that will help you learn about some of the specific things she mentioned above:

• How to Recognize a Manic Episode
  
• How to Recognize a Depressive Episode
  
• When Do You Call the Psychiatrist?

The last article is addressed to a person with bipolar disorder, but is equally valuable for a family member or friend.

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