Help Me by Learning About Bipolar Disorder

Speaking From Experience

We received an email asking, "What is helpful behavior? What does 'be supportive' really mean?" We threw the question open on our forum. Forum member Winter replied:

I just want to be treated the same as everyone else -- whether you like me or not. I don't want anyone to be afraid of me because of my BP, I don't want to be handled with kid gloves, I don't want to be any better or worse than anyone else.

What bothers me the most is when other people who are not educated about manic depression, who do not know me very well, and who have made no effort to do either, attempt to squeeze every aspect of my personality under the umbrella of bipolar disorder. Maybe that isn't clear: what I mean is that I hate HATE it when I, as a person WITH bipolar disorder, am dismissed as simply Bipolar.

The misperception that bipolar disorder manifests itself the same way in every individual irritates me to no end. Everyone is different, and they experience BP differently. My experiences may have similarities to those of others, but they are not the same, not even close.

The most important thing family members of someone with BP can do is to inform themselves about it and ask questions. I don't mind at all if someone asks me about it, about my moods, my meds, anything, so long as they honestly want to know versus simply meddling in my business or searching for gossip. I think that the more someone knows, the less likely they are to do the things that offend me most.

Educating oneself about BP not only means the symptoms and meds, but also side effects, potential triggers, and trying to understand what it's like to live with it. I cannot stress enough how important it is to ask questions. A lot of family stress in my life could be eliminated if the curious would simply ask. I'm not ashamed, and I try to make myself as approachable as I can be.

I guess I just want to be seen as a person.

--by Winter, About.com Bipolar forum member

The Take-Home Message

What Winter has written is a common thread tying together people with bipolar disorder -- it's frustrating meeting people who think of all manic-depressives as the same (all manic, all psychotic, all suicidal, or all dangerous). Having family members who do not understand that even though you have bipolar disorder you are still unique is not only infuriating but crippling to relationships. A person with BP is unique both as a person and in the way his or her illness presents itself.

Learning about bipolar disorder is easier than you might think. Because you are reading this, you are already at a website that has the information you need. Start with What is Bipolar Disorder? Go on to Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder. Or sign up for our four week newsletter course, Bipolar Basics 1, which will walk you through the essential basic information in clear, easy-to-understand language.

Your bipolar loved one will deeply appreciate your educating yourself about his or her illness -- and you will find it easier to cope when you have this knowledge.

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