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The Struggle of a Significant Other (Page 2)


Updated June 19, 2014

Two days later, while on a two-hour pass, he came home for a few minutes before going to his parents’. He started arguing more and making threats about leaving us, etc. All that shook me greatly and after he left, I burst into tears. More questions and still little answers.

On Thursday morning my husband had accepted the voluntary commitment, but that afternoon he managed to get a 7-day pass. That evening was hard. He’d been somewhat irritable with the kids. After that he started arguing with me, still blaming me for it all and would come back with the fax issue. After much arguing, I finally suggested we call the ward. He took the phone and started questioning and questioning and arguing over details of the form the pdoc had filled. We kept arguing until about 1AM that evening.

The next morning, my husband was up very early, in a very good mood. Later, we got a call from the ward saying that pdoc would see us that same afternoon at two. Everything seemed fine and back to normal that day. After about half an hour of meeting, the pdoc concluded that my husband needed to stay in the hospital. However, in view of the fact that voluntary status would allow him to check out at will, he decided to initiate the procedures for involuntary status.

The hearing was a notion absolutely foreign to us. I was a nervous wreck. What was it going to be? What would happen? Would I be allowed to be there? Would I be questioned? What were the possible decisions? What if the involuntary status was decided? What if? What if? What if? So many questions, so much emotion, so much anxiety. After all, it was my husband who could be locked up. I was quite scared of his reaction if he were to be kept at the hospital. I wanted what was best for him but I had no idea what that was. I had to rely on the pdoc and the staff to tell me, and even that was not reassuring. Finally on the day of the hearing, the decision was to keep my husband for involuntary status. He took it surprisingly well and he thought it should be over in a few days. So did I.

The very next day, arriving home from work, I heard my husband’s voice. I immediately got very worried. I knew that something was wrong. One of the kids met me at the door and said, “Daddy came home, but the doctor did not know.” He was pretty calm, just making dinner, but when I questioned him about getting out, he admitted he had left without permission. He knew the police would come to pick him up, but he wanted to be home so much. Within a few minutes of me coming home, two police cars pulled up in the driveway. Three police officers came in the house where my husband was waiting for them. He did not offer any resistance. I was a passive witness to an event I never imagined could happen. And the kids were also present, silent and still. Everybody was so quiet. We were all shocked. I could only cry.

With various medication adjustments, he was doing better. Now, six days after his return to the ward, pdoc gave him some day passes. The pdoc asked me to watch for various behaviors, anything that could be out of the ordinary, and to report it because the pdoc needed that information to fine tune the med combination. Next, the pdoc gave him a 10-day pass, after which the doctor planned on discharging my husband. In the middle of the 10-day pass, a follow-up meeting took place (on Christmas Eve) with a psychologist. Late that afternoon, my husband got a call. The pdoc wanted to see him at the ward the next day ... yes, on Christmas day.

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