We both went to the appointment. The doctor opted to do some more med changes. However, the idea of full discharge was temporarily put on hold as the pdoc thought the meds had not yet stabilized his condition well enough. After the 10 days, his doctor decided that my husband would stay in the hospital during the daytime for a few days. Then the passes would get more open and he would even be allowed to be home several days at the time, without any supervision which was a very good sign. Everything finally led to his full discharge 54 days after the initial admission.
My husband is now doing well. He still works with the pdoc who has made med adjustments a few times. Life, as hectic as it was during the first 4-5 weeks, came back to normal. All those odd behaviors gradually decreased during those 54 days and now, we do not see any of them. He is still taking medication. As much as I was scared and lost, I find that I was able to cope with those feelings. My best strategy during the worst time was to dissociate the person - the man I loved very much - from the illness, from the language I was hearing and the actions I was seeing. No, it was not easy, but I knew him well enough to know when something was just not him. I loved him before all this happened. I loved him during all that time and I still love him just as much.
Now, looking back, I can see that many of my husband’s problem behaviors developed gradually. I did see them but did not have a clue what they meant - the great energy, the productivity, the irritability, the habit of making long lists of everything, of writing on every piece of paper, the long speeches we could not follow, the mood swings, and so on. Yes, if I had been aware of what bipolar disorder, I might have recognized those signs, but I was not. I could make myself feel guilty for not having seen those things but nobody ever told me they could indicate a problem. It was a combination of events and possibly perfect timing between them to catch it at the point the pdoc did. I was told that if we had waited longer, say a month or more, things could have become much worse, even dangerous. I am grateful things did turn out the way they did. I was not happy about the hospitalization and the involuntary status, but I feel it was the best option. At least in the pdoc’s opinion and since I do not know any better, I have to respect his professional opinion.
To all who may read this, I realize that some may have experienced less of a drama, while others may have had to deal with severe psychosis, or great financial troubles, or even legal battles due to a manic episode. However, when facing situations about a new diagnosis for which we understand very little beforehand, I can see that we can be absolutely terrified and overwhelmed with questions and concerns. It does not matter how many symptoms our loved ones are exhibiting, they can be scary. But please, get information, get involved, and find yourself a support system, whether it be another relative, a friend, a formal support group or even chat room support. You need it and if you take care of yourself in that way, you will be better able to support your loved one. Talk to those who know firsthand, talk to professionals, seek help. When you feel you are drowning, it doesn’t matter how big the lake is, you want help. Call for it. And remember, receiving a diagnosis is like being given a map; it should help you go in the right direction.
