Later, Nikki catches up with me, and we end up in her bedroom, which she is fortunate enough to have to herself. She sits on one bed and I on the other, talking like old friends. It is amazing how often one of us says something that causes the other to nod excitedly and state, "Yes, that's it exactly!" She tells me more about her work and her home life, her problems with her husband, the fact that she's now breaking out from under his control and he does not like it one bit. She tells me about her daughter and granddaughter who live in Oklahoma, and about the hell her daughter's ex is putting the family through, using the little girl like a pawn to get back at everyone. I get wrapped up in her world for awhile, listening, sharing her feelings with her, asking questions, empathizing, which begins to flow more real and less stilted as I get to know her better.
Slowly, very slowly, I start to feel like maybe I haven't entered hell on earth after all. Maybe God knows I'm here and has arranged for there to be others with whom I can connect, so I will feel less alone, less overwhelmed, less forsaken. Maybe God is even here in this place somehow.
However, so is Leah, whose eyeballs have been boring holes of pure hatred and hostility into me all day long whenever we have had to be in the same room together. I have yet to reckon with her.
(* - names and places in this series are changed to preserve anonymity.)
