There are so many things I can say about myself and how this illness has affected me that it's hard to know where to start. My name is Brian, and I am a Chat Host and Forum Medications Host at About Bipolar Disorder. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 rapid cycling at the age of 30 when I was sent to the emergency room with antidepressant-induced panic attacks and hypomania. This was not in my life plan! I thought at the time I had everything figured out. My life, my future was all planned out. I guess bipolar disorder had a different plan.
I try not to look at bipolar as a curse or a gift. I do my best to look at this illness as something I need to manage; I realize that if I don't manage this beast, it will spin my life out of control. That's why I still see my psychiatric doctor and holistic doctor every month - if you give this illness an inch, it will take a lot more than a mile.
It's been a lot of hard work and a lot of failed medication trials. I am thankful every day for the support of my family and friends and for the support of our About.com community - which in many ways I consider part of my family. I hope I have given back to them as much as they have given to me.
Until there is a cure for bipolar disorder, anything I do is always going to be one extra step I didn't have to take before. I'm going to have to push a little harder each time to accomplish my goals, but that only makes the end result more rewarding. This illness tried to take a piece of my life once and it was successful for a while, so I never try to take one day of stability for granted, because I never know when it might try to take that piece back.
As much as I would like to give this illness back, bipolar has changed my life in some positive ways. I have done some good things I never planned on doing, and I hope my education in pharmacology and experiences with manic depression will continue to help others who have bipolar disorder.
On a lighter note, some of the things I enjoy doing are bodybuilding, aggressive inline skating, computers, computer gaming and computer graphics. I also have a thing for fast sports cars, but that might be a bipolar thing.
