My battle with mental illness started long ago, as a teenager, with panic attacks so severe that when I woke in the morning, the entire bed would shake. This was also my first experience with stigma! My mom took me to the GP, and because I couldn't keep down any food, he said that I had anorexia and he didn't want to see me anymore! Ah, the ignorant must be educated!
I diagnosed myself in the summer of '03 simply by reading some of the post from our beloved members Dee and Yvonne on the Depression boards. I thought - HEY, that's me! I went to a tdoc, who thought the same thing. When I actually received the official diagnosis, though, my entire world crumbled. How? Why? Those were the questions that overcrowded my brain.
Then, after disclosing to my supervisor, I was terminated from my position. After struggling with what to do and knowing that my "cocktail" was not stable - I knew I had to file for disability. I was fortunate enough to be approved the first time through. Sometimes I wonder if that was fortunate, because that tells you what bad shape I was in!
If it hadn't been for the About Bipolar Disorder forum and the wonderful people there, I don't know what I would have done. That is the whole truth and nothing but the truth. They pulled me out of my darkest pits and helped me with medication choices.
It turned out that I was having extreme reactions to Lithium, and I ended up on Lamictal (my life saver). As soon as I gained approval for SSDI, I started looking for part time work.
Now I work from 2-6 Monday to Friday at the world's largest life insurance company. I work as a Human Resources Specialist in a call center. I suppose this is how I know all about work issues. As for disability, I picked that up filing for my own. I also found some loopholes in the Medicaid system, so even though my SSDI is too high to have medical assistance the "regular" way, there are ways to get help. If I can help you with that, please let me know.
I was thrilled when asked to become a Community Leader and then a Host. If I can give back to this community that has given so much to me, well then it was meant to be. I will do my best to make sure that anyone with questions gets the best information possible. So please feel free to post your questions. If I don't know the answer, I will find it for you or find a place for you to find the information (if you can't tell, I'm a perfectionist).
As for me now, I still struggle with BP. I found an excellent pdoc and am starting with a new tdoc in a week. My biggest pitfalls are housework and my self-image. I'm moving to a new abode very shortly (a couple miles away), and I'm hoping for a fresh start. Lithium added 20 pounds to my frame and that hasn't helped any. I'm also a codependent and I want to work on those issues as well. I'm still going to seek support from all of you, as I still have my demons. We have one thing in common here - BP. It's different for all of us, but it's still part of us. I still think about it everyday, especially when taking 18 pills. On this board, we need to offer support and build each other up, not break each other down. My quote is absolutely true - every day I think of this forum and know that without it I would be lost. So I'm thankful in my heart for every single one of you!
Thanks for listening/reading and hugs all around!
Amy
Post questions to Amy in the About Bipolar Disorder forum Work & Disability Issues folderPost in the About Bipolar Disorder forum "Get It Off Your Chest!" folder
