- TV programs are to be selected by majority rule
Absolutely no court shows (e.g. Judge Judy, Judge Joe Mathis)
Absolutely no talk shows, especially Jerry Springer
The nurse's aide handed out the cigarettes to her eager crowd, and Abe quickly joined the masses and waited eagerly for his afternoon tobacco delights. One of the rules of the unit is that no paper can be taken down to the courtyard during smoke breaks for fear that one of us crazies will start a fire, so the patients anxiously held their smokes in their hands or tucked them safely behind their ears. The nurse's aide handed Abe a small Ziplock bag that contained a wooden pipe, tobacco, and a Zippo lighter. Abe graciously accepted his items and walked slowly down the hall to the back stairway, which led to the courtyard and smoking area.
During my tour of the unit, I quickly realized that only two doors in this facility had locks, and these were the two exits: the front entrance leading to the main hall of the psychiatric pavilion and the back stairway where the crowd of patients were now gathered, eagerly waiting for a nurse to come and unlock the door to commence the smoke break. Not even the bathrooms had locks on them. As I recall, none of this surprised me, after all I was in a mental hospital for very mentally ill patients, myself included.
Cindy set my bag of belongings on the desk at the nurse's station and began rummaging through the various clothes that my wife packed for me. I had assumed that I would stay in my pajamas during my hospitalization, but my wife had packed three outfits for me to wear and some pajama pants and t-shirts. Cindy asked me if I had anything that I would like placed in the safe. I pulled my wallet from my back pocket and handed it to her. She asked me if I had any credit cards or a driver's license that I would like to list as personal possessions on the envelope that my wallet would go into. I pulled out my Providian Visa and as a joke my Kroger Plus Card and stated that these were my treasured possessions. Cindy smiled and stated how good it was that I hadn't lost my sense of humor despite my current state of affairs.
The only contraband that Cindy removed from my bag were my pack of shredded beef jerky, cigarettes, and lighter. Patients weren't allowed to have lighters (another preventative measure for us loonies starting a fire), so everyone shared the community lighter during smoke breaks. Belongings in hand, I was escorted down the hall which ran parallel to the main nurse's station. I stopped briefly to read the dry erase board hanging on the wall across from the community phone. The board listed each patient, and which nurse, nurse's aide, and doctor each was assigned to.
The board also listed a column beside each patient's name with a number 1 through 4 assigned. I later learned that these were codes for our access restrictions and limitations. A number 1, for example, meant that a patient was allowed to leave the unit unsupervised and may access all areas of the hospital with the exception that they were not allowed to leave the property. A number 4, on the other end of the spectrum, was a high restriction code that carried the condition that the patient must be supervised at all times. This code was reserved for patients who were at the highest risk of committing suicide or endangering the other patients or staff. I was happy to see a 2 listed by my name, so maybe I wasn't as crazy as I thought.
I noticed that the only patient with a code 4 restriction was Abe. I made a mental note to keep my distance from this fellow, whoever he might be.
