He told me a story about a Halloween night long ago while he was bartending when a man came in to the bar wearing a long black trench coat. He was alone and was drowning his liver with shot after shot of Yegermeister. At last call, the man stood up on top the bar, removed his trench coat and walked naked down the bar as if he were a super model in a Paris fashion show. Abe, in his empathy for anyone who loses his mind, didn't call the police, but covered the man in his trench coat and drove him to his home.
At about this time, our log cabin was beginning to resemble a quickie mart more than a rustic home for the nature lover. However, craft time was over, and we were now escorted to the gym for recess. As we walked through the narrow corridor, past the locker rooms and into the gym, Rick began preaching about the therapeutic effects of daily exercise for depression and how it raises serotonin levels in the brain. We were half listening to Rick as he continued with a monotonous announcement of the rules for playing in the gym. The child and adolescent unit of the hospital had just left the gym, and we were free to shoot hoops, play volleyball or badminton, or just walk the perimeter.
Abe and I grabbed a couple of rackets and a birdie and began a half-hearted game of badminton. Mark walked over to the children's equipment, hopped on a tricycle that was about three sizes too small, and began pedaling around the gym. His knees hit the handlebars each time he pedaled, but from his frantic footwork, it appeared that he was determined to ride into the sky and across the moon like Elliott in the movie E.T.
A couple of the younger and more athletic guys were playing a scrambled and disorganized game of basketball. An argument broke out about one of the guys taking four steps without dribbling, and what started as an innocent game of hoops became a vicious dodge ball tournament. Rick stepped in and broke up the illegal activity that violated nearly every rule of gym time.
Recess was now over, and we all walked slowly back to Unit 3 for lunch. No one was in any hurry to see what horrific combination of meat byproduct and gravy we were to be served today.
Most of the patients grabbed their lunch trays from the cart and sat down in the day room in front of the television to watch the movie What About Bob? Abe and I took our lunch at the tables next to the group room. I slowly lifted up the lid on my plate and peered cautiously underneath as if a mouse were hiding in there. Much to my disappointment, I was given a generous helping of almost turkey with mashed potatoes and a shiny glaze-like substance that I guessed was gravy. I closed the lid and opened my milk.
"You can choose what food you get tomorrow. They'll give you a menu to fill out" said Abe.
I looked over at Abe's tray and saw a number of vegetables surrounding a giant heap of cottage cheese. Sensing my curiosity, Abe said "I'm a vegetarian. I request only vegetables for lunch and supper." Abe winked and picked up a large, skinned carrot and began chomping loudly.
After lunch we gathered around the nurse's station awaiting the much-anticipated handing out of the smokes. Dan was really pining for some nicotine and requested four cigarettes out of his pack. Abe was handed his pipe and tobacco for the after-lunch fresh air break. As we trailed after her with our cigarettes in hand, the nurse's aide walked down the hall and opened the door leading down to the courtyard. We all stood around the nurse's aide as she handed the single lighter to the first man in front of her.
The Unit 2 group was just leaving the courtyard, and I noticed a short, balding man smiling at us deviously. His incisors were long and pointed. Mark walked over and said, "That guy thinks he is a vampire ... he had a dentist file down his teeth to make them pointed." That would explain the guy who was making crucifixes out of the Popsicle sticks during craft class! I thought that he must have been this man's roommate.
