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I'm Bipolar - A Journal: April 6, 2005

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Updated April 08, 2005

Abutilon 'Souvenir de Bonn'; Alocasia 'Hilo Beauty'; Anthemis 'Moonlight'; Aquilegia 'Dragonfly'; Aster 'October Skies' ...

I got them subluxation blues
In Latin, "sub" means "under" or "less" and "luxare" means "to dislocate" (the fact that "lux" means light has nothing to do with it.) So a subluxation is "less than a dislocation" (not something "under-lit"). Bravo. Now apply the term to ribs and imagine you have an ice pick stuck between the point of your left shoulder blade and your spine.

I have three ribs that just will not stay in place in their sockets. It used to be just one, and it used to be that getting it put back in place took the pain away. But not anymore. Now when the area is inflamed it really feels like I've got a knife in my back.

Lying face up on my waterbed and stretching - first the left arm all the way across to the right and then the right arm across to the left - will pop the ribs back in place. Three.distinct.thoks. One big and two small. Last Saturday I had to put them back where they belong five times.

I got nothing done all weekend. Pain ruled. With my back against a cold pack, I read and slept. Around ten p.m. Sunday night - just before bedtime - it finally felt better.

Caladium 'Aaron'; Campanula portenschlagiana; Canna 'Australia'; Coleus 'Diablo'; Colocasia 'Illustris'; Crocosmia 'Lucifer'; Dicentra 'Bacchanal' ...

He don't know me vewwy well, do he?
My pdoc got tired of hearing me complain about my weight. Now, I do understand that. It drives me crazy when somebody whines about the same problem over and over without making any effort to fix it. I just disagree with his method of handling the situation. See, when I asked when I should come in next, he told me not to come back until I had started attending Weight Watchers and Overeaters Anonymous meetings at two to four times a week.

This is roughly like ordering the Archbishop of Canterbury to become a Mormon, or asking Eeyore to dance on a table in a nightclub every Tuesday and Thursday evening. I'll stop whining and keep working on improving diet and exercise, but I am NOT going to go to any meetings. I may need a new pdoc.

Gaillardia 'Goblin'; Hemerocallis 'Autumn Minaret'; Heuchera x 'Stormy Seas'; Hosta 'Eskimo Pie'; Lantana 'Lemon Drop'; Lily 'Chambertin' ...

Our old mess sergeant's taste buds have been shot off in the war*
One evening in my quest for improved sleep, I tried taking 4 milligrams of Gabitril instead of 2. The next day I was rocky on my feet all day, and almost everything tasted wrong. Even chocolate!. I still don't understand it - I had taken 4 mg before without any effect on my sense of taste. But oh, gag!

Papaver orientalis 'Brilliant'; Pentas 'Periwinkles'; Petunia 'Blue Daddy'; Pulmonaria 'Majeste'; Rhamnus 'Fine Line' ...

Now here's a novel side effect
Awhile back pdoc gave me samples of Provigil which, according to the manufacturer, "promotes daytime wakefulness without affecting nighttime sleep." At the website for the generic Modafinil, the med is described as "... a memory-improving and mood-brightening psychostimulant [that] enhances wakefulness and vigilance." Dr. Meyer gave it to me because I was not sleeping well enough to be taken off any of my sleep meds but felt tired and/or sleepy during the day.

He started me off taking 1/4 of a 200 mg pill. I noticed no difference at all, so after several weeks, I tried half a pill. That day at work I made several really dumb errors, and I was uncoordinated as well. I talked to the doctor about this. He said, "Well, don't take that anymore. It made you stupid." Wow. A drug that "improves memory and enhances vigilance" makes you stupid. Next time I want to be stupid, I'll take a whole lot!

Salvia coccinea 'Spanish Dancer'; Sedum 'Black Jack'; Senecio vira-vira; Verbascum phoeniceum 'Flush of White'; Verbena 'Red Devil' ...

A-planting we will go! A-planting we will go!
Yes, I've done it again. I've ordered over 600 plants for this spring's garden - and that doesn't include the little green guys I'm raising from seed. Ordering took four months of brutal winnowing - each catalogue order started out two or three times the size of its final version. This year I actually asked for time off from the office to work on the garden - next week, and a week in May. Then two things happened: my backup at work resigned, and my back went out (see "Subluxation Blues" above - now add a tilted pelvis, a sproinged sacroiliac and piriformis syndrome). So now I'll probably be taking some mornings off and then going in to the office to make sure things don't get out of control. We are a 4-person, 3-part-time person company, and there is not much overlap in the job descriptions, you see.

And I've got a summons for jury duty a week from Monday.

Mommy, I want to go back to bed.

Viola 'Etain'; Viola 'Lutea'; Viola 'Painted Porcelain'; Viola 'Rebecca'; Woodsia obtusa; Yucca rostrata; Zaluzianskya ...

*from Tom Lehrer's "It Makes a Fella Proud to Be a Soldier"

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