Mom complained a lot and seemed to be focused on three things: "Why can't I drive?", "What's for dinner?" and "Do you have my sleeping pills?" She asked these three questions each at least half a dozen times a day. A physical therapist evaluated her after she'd been home for ten days, found her condition good enough not to need regular visits, and left us with a sheaf of exercise sheets. Mom refused to do the exercises. She spent 90 percent of her waking time just sitting in her chair in front of the television. At first she went with Mimi to the grocery store several times a week, but after a time she just sent Mimi for supplies and stayed in her chair. She was cold all the time, and I had to turn the thermostat up well above my own comfort level.
On my own, I was planting about 25 plants a day - on the weekends. On work days, often nothing was planted. There were 610 plants and bulbs left to put in. I had one massive Saturday session with our yard guy and his team, moving three large shrubs and digging up almost everything in the big front border. These plants were either moved within the border, planted elsewhere in the yard, or potted. Later I gave several of those potted plants to a lady who stopped to admire the garden.
The weather got warm, making it even more difficult for me because my heat tolerance is very poor. Then Mimi began helping me plant. We finished the big front border on May 27th, leaving only ("only"!) 180 plants and bulbs to go into pots and smaller beds. We finished on June 10th. I've lost several plants to marauding rabbits and deer, and a few to the vagaries of Mother Nature, but I still feel confident that I've done a good job this time.
It was somewhat difficult to adjust to having Mom and Mimi in the house after four months on my own. Shortly after Mom came home I started taking 60 mg of Cymbalta instead of 30 (which my doctor had told me would be okay), and gradually increased my Seroquel dose to 300 mg. These increases, while not putting me back in the state I'd enjoyed while by myself, kept me in a pretty good place. When I wasn't planting, I spent most of my time out in the sunroom reading or working on my computer. I discovered I had gained ten pounds on my own cooking and now weighed an appalling 190 pounds. (This could also be a side effect of Seroquel.)
I began spending hours at a time at the computer working on this web site and my free graphics site, coming away stiff and tired. I could work at repetitious jobs and stay intensely focused. Also, at the beginning of June I suddenly ordered a bunch of summer clothes - NOT more than I could afford, but it was very pleasant; it felt like I was giving myself a present as a reward for my hard work on the garden and not losing my temper with Mom's repetitious "conversation."
On June 9th, Mom's colostomy prolapsed - about 8" of colon came out through the opening, inside out. Mimi took her to the emergency room where they got it packed back in after several hours. Dr. Burke said he would schedule her for minor corrective surgery to stitch the bowel to the inside of the belly wall so it couldn't come out again: an easy procedure, done under local anesthetic on an outpatient basis. He couldn't do it right away because (a) he was going to be out of town off and on for a couple of weeks, and (b) Mom would have to stop taking Coumadin to allow her blood clotting factor to get back to normal before they did any cutting. In the meantime I took her to see Dr. Lilly, our family doctor, who found that she had a urinary tract infection AND her left leg - the one with the bypass - was all swelled up. So we next went to see the vascular surgeon again. His opinion: the swelling was from sitting all day. But we STILL couldn't get her to do her exercises. Her response when urged to do them: "Hell, no."
On June 18th we had a lovely family party for my brothers' birthdays (even though my California brother wasn't there), which are two days apart. On June 20th the colostomy prolapsed first thing in the morning, was put back in place in the emergency room, and prolapsed again at 10:00 that night. Mom was once more admitted to the hospital.
I thanked the gods for my meds.
