How I Get Myself Moving
I get the emails from flylady.com. She overcame depression using a focus of Finally Loving Yourself and only spending 15 minutes at a time on a task. Her emails help remind me to get moving - and that I can do anything for 15 minutes. Actually that's not true - sometimes I can only manage 5 minutes, but moving at all always helps me feel better.
What Helps Me Keep Going Once I Get Started
Using a timer, calendar and whiteboard help me keep moving. The whiteboard has daily appointments and tasks needing doing on it and my online calendar emails me reminders. Using a Smartphone helps me to work on the principle of "do it now" if I think of someone I should contact or something I should put on the calendar. The timer reminds me to stop and take a break - sometimes I use it to tell me when to get off the computer.
When I can make the job fun it's much easier to get it done. I often do stuff with other people when they're available. Less fun on my own but sometimes I use stickers, nice coloured tools, music, etc., to make it more enjoyable. I try to have the right tool for the job so at least it's simple and easy if not too much fun.
Lessons Learned
- Much easier to keep something going than start over from scratch. Having routines frees me up, doesn't constrain me. If I can make something totally routine then I don't even have to think about it to get it done.
- I used to think household chores were punishments, so why inflict them on myself when I was already depressed? Now I know that it's loving myself to take care of the practical needs of my life. Then when I feel better I don't have to waste time clearing up a really messy house and apologising for missed appointments etc.
- The Flylady emails help me know I'm not alone - many other people struggle too.
What are the short-term benefits?
I feel better about myself for doing *something* - however small. Depression is less stressful when I'm not always losing important papers, etc.
What are the long-term benefits?
Basic routines can grow into more complex ones. The skills that keep me moving in depression can help me move towards the life I want when I'm not depressed.
What adjustments did you have to make as time passed?
None really. Start with simple routines. Adapt them to suit your individual circumstances. Add more as you become able. The reason it works is because it's so flexible and personalisable. Main change was when my husband saw the benefits and got on board for himself - home life's much happier now!
What else have you found that would help others?
Getting angry really helps! Lots of potential energy in anger. If I need to get to an appointment and the depression is bad my husband sometimes deliberately provokes my anger so that I have the energy I need. As long as I can divert that into going out and not just yelling it can be really useful!
Marcia Purse, Bipolar Disorder Guide, says:
I'm particularly impressed by this statement: "I used to think household chores were punishments, so why inflict them on myself when I was already depressed? Now I know that it's loving myself to take care of the practical needs of my life." This is something you can teach yourself over time. You might have to force yourself to do something; you might grumble and whine and feel awful while doing it. The important thing will be to stop when the job is done and look at what you've done.
It feels good, doesn't it? A sense of accomplishment? A feeling of pleasure at seeing the difference? Now take the time to impress these feelings on yourself. In time, you'll have stored up enough good feelings about finishing particular chores that it will be less difficult to start them.
