Basic description of my rapid cycling bipolar disorder:
I cycle back and forth with periods of being "normal about every couple of months. Sometimes it occurs as quickly as going from manic to very depressed in a week's time I'm afraid. It's not very pleasant to say the least. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar for about 23 yrs.
More details about my rapid cycling:
I am very fortunate to have a wonderful medical and family support system that assists me during these times. Until recently I was on the medication Lithium, but after all the years the medication itself has caused serious problems with different parts of my body, so I had to be taken off of it. Right now I am dealing with my rapid cycling with the assistance of a great therapist who over the last 15 yrs has provided me with tools to assist me when things get difficult. My psychiatrist also assists me with medications to help me sleep during mania, and chill out when the mania gets to be too much. The depression seems to hit me as if a light switch flicks on or off, and again my therapist has over the years provided me with very precise tools to help me deal. When all else fails, I have my support system and I know enough to as I say "fake it until I make it". That in itself is extremely difficult, but I am glad to say I have not had to be hospitalized for psych in over 10 yrs now. All I can say is to surround yourself with good people; family, medical professionals and realize that what goes up has to come down eventually. I have tried SO many medications in the last 23 yrs. I feel like a walking pharmacy but in the end, its all about knowing yourself, having the courage to ask for help when needed, and knowing that you are NOT the disease; you are always yourself and the bipolar is just something that lives with you just like my diabetes does. I have found that concentrating on someone else's problem(s) gets my mind off of mine and again, faking it until you make it normally works with time and A LOT of effort. I allow myself a few days to be depressed to the point of not getting out of bed, not answering the phone, etc., then after that each day just attempting ONE task-take a shower and dress with makeup even if I am not leaving the house. Each day I try one more thing-maybe interact with someone else. Eventually the days seem a bit brighter. In the manic stage, I hide all credit cards! Make sure my debit card is in the safe-not easy to get to and inform my friends/adult children that I am manic and I need help from myself. I call my psychiatrist and ask for something to "chill me out". If I can sleep for a straight 7-8 hours it seems to break the manic cycle and I am at least on the road to just being me. This may not work for everyone, but after so many years of trying so many things I have found these methods seem to help me along.
Lessons Learned
- I have learned that a good support system is key, and I cannot stress that enough. Faith in yourself and whatever faith system (religion) you believe also helps in so many ways. While medications can and do help so many, I do not have the option of taking anti-depressants due to the fact that they seem to just magnify the effects of my manic episodes. I know not to hide in the shadows when the depression gets severe but to let someone know I am in deep despair and ask for them to check on me, and talk if needed. I know I am not alone in this. My rapid cycling comes just as you would switch a light on and off.
More I want to share about rapid cycling:
Rapid cycling is a real bitch! Bipolar is quite horrible, and I really cannot say anything good about it. But with help, guidance and the realization that you are not alone, I have found I can survive and most people would never know I have a problem. Support groups (mine are online) help a lot.
My cycles' severity is:
My ups and downs in such a rapid cycle is rather drastic most of the time. I have learned the signs, actually have the steps to take to help written down, and I journal like crazy. After all the cycling, the normal parts of my life are so much more meaningful.
Over time, my rapid cycling is getting:
more manageable. This has taken MANY years, several trials and failures to fine ways that help me in the end. The people in my life have learned to just ask what they can do at that point, and my God given boyfriend of over 11 yrs who did not know A THING about Bipolar is truly supportive.
Rapid cycling has kept me from:
working, therefore I had to go on disability which for me was extremely embarrassing. Some days it keeps me from doing things I have committed to someone I would do, but luckily the "fake it until you make it" attitude has made those incidences less and less and sometimes in the end actually help.
