In denial
- I cry every day , I get jealous over people that have a good life , I always just want to go to my bed and hide under the covers I just want everyone around me judging me to piss of I am so angry at everyone on this earth I don't even know why I am here I don't believe this place is true this is fake and I'm the only one aware of anything happening. I hit myself and get extremely angry I get upset I just wish I was dead.
- —Guest kayro
scared
- I am scared that i am going to die i have two kids and everytime i look at them i start to cry because my kids need me
- —Guest erica
:(
- I first tried to commit suicide when I was 12, then again when I was 15, I haven't tried since and I'm now 27. I think about it alot though, numerous times a day everyday. Sometimes whilst driving I run fantasies through my head of driving into a tree or onto oncoming traffic etc. Instead of the typical model of gradually falling then having to pick yourself back up its like I live in this deep dark pit which I'm constantly trying to struggle out of. But anytime I come close I'm kicked back down again. It's gone on for so long now that I HONESTLY DONT BELIEVE there is any happiness to be found for me in life. I feel like I am not meant to be and that whatever God is out there is angered by the possibilty of me finding any peace. I constantly struggle to survive but for some reason I just can't kill myself.
- —Guest Jess
Why me?
- Me and my boyfriend had a really bad breakup. All are mutual friends cut me off because of my reaction to the breakup. My mom passed (my best friend, my life) just a year later. I watched her suffer from cancer and held her the day before she passed.. Now i am taking the responsibility of my younger sister and older brother. I work two jobs and me and the rest of my siblings cant seem to get along. I need someone to just be there. I cry all day and sleep all night. I work so I could keep my mind busy but once i have no work, i think about killing myself.. I have thought that my little sister would suffer without me so i thought of killing her too.. I wont do it because i know that I will go straight to hell and my mother would not have approved. Im depressed.. I feel like i have no meaning in life. Im 22 and have horrible health conditions but I dont tell anyone in my family because i dont wont to bring them down with me.. Please tell me what to do.. because im ready to give up
- —Guest Magpie2012
Saddy
- I have been reading everyones stories on this site and I am shocked at how many teens are feeling down and suicidal, why? I am suffering from depression and taking Lexapro for it no one knows that I take them because I think they would laugh at me. When I was young I grew up in a poor family my dad used to hit my mum which we thought was normal but we wouldn't talk about it in public because deep inside of us we knew it wasn't right, but we were strong and had to fight any fears within us about dads behaviour. I urge young people to live their life to the fullest and enjoy every day that they are alive. I am nearly 50 when I retire I would like to involve myself in some charity to help young adults cope with every problems and it will be advise coming from someone who has lived a hard life and not from some shrink who gives advise from books. Be happy and make the most of your life!! ( I sometimes wish I can take that advise from me)
- —Guest Why are so many young people sad
No more
- I am 50 years old I feel very sad I am married with a hard working man who is very cold and anti social I am a deep and romantic person my marriage looks perfect to alot apart from me so there fore I have turned to gambling I have caused alot of problems from this mainly financial to my house I get very very sad I work alit mainly to support my habbit any chance I get with money I'm at gambling venues I hate myself, my life and my horrible habit. I've started taking anti depressants just been a bit over a week which is doing nothing but I go to bed early rather than gamble I will them another 3 weeks as I've been told I should and we shall see how I go.... I used to laugh at people who used to take them and here is me taking them how odd!!
- —Guest Saddy
in bed
- My son died 5 years ago. I have always had depression but now I basically have been in bed for the last 4 years. I am on a lot of meds for my depression but all they do is keep me from being suicidal...in 2008 I tried to kill myself twice and spent the whole summer in the hospital. I have 4 grandchildren who need me to be well. Two of them live with me. My grandson is my dead son's boy who my husband and I are raising because his mother committed suicide six weeks after my son died. I don't know how to be a fully functioning person anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions? I need help badly!!! [Guide's note: Since your depression appears to be what we call treatment-resistant, I urge you to speak to your doctors about additional treatment such as electroconvulsive therapy (ECT).]
- —Guest plumapeel22
Why suffering in this world for us!
- Many call me a doubting Thomas because I doubt things considering them illogical. Many of us suffer from the world from various ailments, whether we were born without a limb, or have High Blood presure and have had Strokes/parilyzed, or have ADHD or Bipolar like myself. Am in Bipolar Depression/drs won't give me Depression Med - they say it'll quicly put me in a bad Manic State. Am on 500mg Lamictal & 1mg of Clonazepam has worked well for 3 yrs. Anyway, I do believe in a creator God and Jesus who died/shed His blood on the cross and rose again for the Salvation of all humanity; but I still logically and very curious as to why, when He stop it, He's allows so much suffering to all degrees to take place in the world!? Does He want to draw us closer to Himself or Jesus, to trust Him more in everything in life? Or is really Satan in control, causing suffering until Jesus returns! Honestly, when do He continue to allow sufferng in us when He has all the powet to stop it?
- —Guest Thomas
help
- im 16, i cut myself often and i dont know whats wrong i am always sad and just feel like staying at home all the time i look at myself as fat, fat as in i need to lose as much weight as i can.. im a dancer i have been dancing since i was 3 and have always looked at my body in judgmental ways but i have never gotten to the point where i stress over my weight and body shape every single day.. i have tried making myself throw up also and i am just sad and bored uninterested in things.. can someone help. [Guide's note: You need to seek professional help right away.]
- —Guest tiffany
Someone Fix Me?
- I feel like i'm having constant mood swings. Nothing I do seems to help. I am 17, and was abused by my father until I was 12. I now have no contact with him and I know this is what is effecting me. I can't seem to love myself or let anyone else love me. I just think about how useless I am and how anything I try to do just goes wrong. I push away the people I love the most because that is all i've ever known to do. I feel like crying all the time but i don't let myself cry because then I know there is a problem. I've recently become really stressed out and I can't figure out how to fix myself. I don't know what I should do anymore. I just want someone to fix me.
- —Guest katiee
em fricia
- My bipolar type 2 symptoms have been like a secret spy you read about in a novel. I was surprised when I was diagnosed but then my Dad had bipolar type one. My symptoms are not outrageous. When I am in mania, I have lots of energy. I go, go, go. Since I don't have the money to spend (when I did, I would buy $500 fountain pens) I go to the library. I cannot come home with just one book. I come home with four. Then the depression hits, I have trouble getting out of bed. I'm tired when I do get up. I don't clean up around the apartment. I read a lot. I have no inclination to get out of the house, or to take my regular walk. I can barely take care of my personal self; however, I do take care of my cat. It seems in the last year or so, I have become more aware of whether I am on the upside or downside of this disorder. This helps me in taking care of myself. I have also begun talking more to my husband so he is also aware and can say something to me of what he is seeing.
- —emfricia
don't want to just die
- It started with not wanting to get dressed. I love looking nice from head to toe. Then I didn't sleep through the night. I woke with pain in my heart crying before I opened my eyes. By now no appetite and I can't do anything. Dying is all I think about. With therapy I found I'm bipolar manic depressive. I spent 10 years in therapy to finally get out of my depressed state. The last 3 years I've been manic. I'd rather run on up than on down. Now I feel the depression coming back. I'm scared to go back to that. I have 4 kids and I'm so worried I'm going to lose them this time.
- —Guest Chestnutbrown
I just want to be loved.
- Im 17 years old. And ever since I can remember I cried alot, to myself in my room. I never really know why Im crying, my life used to be ideal. About 7 years ago my mothers abusive boyfriend kicked me out of her home and every since then me and mother havent been the same. I look at life different, no one has reached out and tried to get to know me. I cry uncontrollably all of the time until ny heart aches. I hate who I see in the mirror. I've never been loved abd ut scares me...will I ever be? If my own parents couldnt, who can?
- —Guest Blu
Lonely
- I am fifteen years old and i have been rather depressed for most of my life. I never thought i was pretty, the first time i cried about my appearance, i was 8 years old. As i got older i became more quiet and despondent from my family. I have no friends. I usually take up sitting in front of the mirror and talking to myself. I either do that or cry or sleep because i dont want my parents to feel there is anything wrong with me. I love life but i cant enjoy it because i have no friends and i ve never been in a relationship. I am bored all the time and i feel like there is no purpose for me.
- —Guest Dee
Digging a hole..
- I think about suicide constantly. Every bad thought that enters my head is drowned out with destroying myself. I like to think about realistic ways so that I hve real options. It's probably just a matter of time really. It's because i hate everything i say and do afterthe fact and i have suh high expectations that neither myself or anyone else in my life can fulfil. So I hate the world, myself and everyone else. I dont wantto leave the house, i take as much time off work as i can and i now decided to drink and take drugs to see if tht helped..ieven that cant help me escape my thoughts. I have everything, a great job, beautiful fiancee, good friends...but it feels like i dont belong in this world. I dont fit here...and it doesnt fit me. Slowly im cutting anyone close to me out of my life. Ideally id dig a hole and live in it but being a recluse will have to do for now. Lots of things could hav caused this, parents divorce, violently attacked...but it feels like none of them :/
- —Guest Weiss
