Readers Respond: Stories of Bipolar Grandiosity

Responses: 25

By Marcia Purse, About.com Guide

Updated July 05, 2009

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During manic episodes I would be driving my car way over the speed limit, listening to the music and thinking how beautiful the world is and how lucky I am to be alive and that I'm this special person and the whole world belongs to me and nothing bad will ever happen to me...
—Guest just me

Seven years ago I experience a full blown manic episode.Heres how it goes.I just cant stop talking everything excites me. New ideas in my mind I cant wait to try.Im smart,beautiful everything a person could ask for & everybody loves me as if I know what they really need and I can help them.And all of my dreams are about to happen.I believed that theres a hidden camera in the whole world and its monitoring all of my actions cause Im superior and special.I have a special connection with God and when I look into someones eyes I'll know exactly what they need and I can heal them.I sing dance and feel very high as if i can touch the stars and the whole world is after me.I feel so good and its a very nice feeling...I'll play the piano as if Im the next mozart or something..I admit I love the feeling but I know its not normal since then I never had a manic episode and Im stable now..Thanks to God myself and to my family who help me accept my disorder and seek help..
—Guest myles

Wow, it is so nice to be on this site and hear other stories of hypomanic grandiosity! I have always been an entrepreneur with the crazy ADD spinning top mind which has served me well in life, but now "with meds" I look back at how grandiose I really was. I was always a perfect person with perfection on my side as though I was a bulldozer and could do just anything. I was somehow everything. Smart, pretty, witty, successful and every other fabulous thing that life could possibly give us. I was just amazing! My word, who was that person? :) I was reminiscing last night at what a techie mind blowing maniac I was here in Silicon Valley. Depression has always been a major issue for me, but always worse when I would come down from my wonderfully high pedestal. I do not even know how I mustered up all of that energy and fight! Now with meds I am pretty subdued. It does feel more "real" to be who I am, I am just judgmental due to my own level of perfection still
—BedroomCage

I believed that I was an absolutely gifted psychic with ESP. I thought I could know exactly what a person needed at the moment, physically, like if they were thirsty or hungry. I also believed I was part of some royal family in an advisor capacity. Yeah, I was pretty messed up. Thank God for medication.
—Guest CS

i thought i was queen of the world in a remote part of puerto rico where i lived in the barrio and went through money because i had a radio that was planted in my head that controlled the radio waves of the planet.
—Guest katy

- for me, grandiosity has been me driving the car around with music I love playing loudly. As I drive, looking straight ahead, I feel like all the other drivers are men. And they can hear the same music, and they can all see me. A little paranoid, but sort of exciting. Wonder what this is? Mixed paranoia and grandiocity? In depressions I've had much worse.
—Guest riverfork

When I was younger and undiagnosed, I had to do everything for my children that was never done for me. I had the most elaborate birthday parties and Christmases. I wanted to prove that I was a good mother to my children. I spent money I did not have in the belief that I have the biggest and therefore the best. I made the most extravagant Halloween costumes. I spent money with the intention that I would always be able to pay it back. I did the math in my head and I knew that I could do it. Of course I couldn't but I didn't know that then. I thought that I was capable of everything. Rude awakening when I woke up (mentally) in handcuffs being taken to IP...
—LadyHeather

i seriously still dont believe its not just me who feels this way about herself..when i'm hypomanic,i feel i could understand and make friends with anyone..anyone at all.I'd be able to read anyone's mind,and know what exactly what they feel,or what theyre thinking about,and accordingly just communicate with them like the way they want to..tell them just exactly what they want to hear,or feel.I'd feel i'm better smarter and prettier than absolutely anyone else,and that i could do anything at all.I could write,dance,sing,or work anything i wish!i could get along with all types of personalities,convert myself the way the person i'm with wants me to be.I could be the girl every guy dreams to have,and it actually does happen..everyone around me just keep falling in love with me,and i have that indefinite depth of thought and wisdom...inredible isnt it?and then i just get depressed and lose it all.....
—Guest jennifer

I'll feel i'm this perfect person who has just the best characteristics anyone could ask for, i feel so giving and understanding even if i'm just ordering a cheeseburger through a drive through. I also feel i could go home and somehow record the greatest guitar solo the world has ever heard, make the greatest movie (even though i have no camera or anything at all) I am this almost romantic character, like a combination of every celebrity, who just has his work cut out for him and has no time for normal people like you. I am...the greatest person ever. Then i'll have 20 minutes where I feel really embaressed about my thoughts, whether i acted them out or not, and feel a load of anxiety and constant thoughts in my head.
—Guest dillon

I get periods where I am sure I'm able to talk to people with purely cognitions. I can send the thoughts through my eyes and make them respond how I want. I am very smart, I've always been above average, but I keep feeling I can do 3 years of university in one or less. I probably could to be honest though, college was as easy as GCSEs. I always feel right, I deserve the best treatment. I once thought God was sending me messages through my doctors mother and others when I went through a mixed episode, but I went severely depressed straight afterwards (as in 30 minutes after the mixed episode started). Everybody loves me, and I am the best at everything I do. People confirm this becuse they like hanging around me more and for some reason its very easy to drag everyone out of their houses and do whatever I want. But I don't care about others feelings because they don't matter to me. I can tell the blunt truth, but no one dares to go against me or stand up for eachother either...
—Guest qwan

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Marcia Purse
Bipolar Disorder Guide

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