The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive
Saturday March 10, 2007
Earlier this week, EricaHost brought to our attention a fantastic blog written by Seaneen – a blog Seaneen dubs as a Guide to Being A Mentally Interesting 21 Year Old Girl Navigating the Labyrinth of the NHS Mental Health Services. I was impressed with the poetic sophistication of this young woman’s writing. She shares, “I’m a manic depressive, and I don’t mind.” An excerpt from one of her posts begins
- In BipolarLand, there seems to be some sort of Rite of Passage. There is an unspoken snobbery. The Bipolar I types vet your mania. How bad was it? How out of control were you? How long did it last? The Bipolar II types vet your depression. Did you try and kill yourself? The Elders, those who have been psychotic or hospitalized, sagely rest on their laurels, safe in the snug knowledge that They Have it Worst.
Comments
Hey, thanks for linking me. Although out of context I am a bit worried people think I am having a go!
“In BipolarLand, there seems to be some sort of Rite of Passage. There is an unspoken snobbery.”
I am BP and I have never seen it this way.
“The Bipolar I types vet your mania. How bad was it? How out of control were you? How long did it last? The Bipolar II types vet your depression. Did you try and kill yourself? The Elders, those who have been psychotic or hospitalized, sagely rest on their laurels, safe in the snug knowledge that They Have it Worst.”
I take offense to a person with BP putting down others with it. Calling us snobs, pigeonholing the types of BP.
Saying the ‘Elders sagely rest on their laurels, safe in the snug knowledge that They Have it Worst.”
By what you are writing, it seems that you are very bitter, non-supportive of your fellow Beepers, and you seem to be the snob.
Have you read the rest of that entry? The whole thing talks about being out and proud of your bipolarity and deals with discrimination.
The bit quoted here is in reference to that fact that we have to be so caught up in our symptoms because it takes such a long time for anyone to take us seriously.
Read the rest of the post and don’t be so judgemental. I am extremely supportive of fellow sufferers, it’s why I write a damn blog about it.
Also, you may have guessed that I am bipolar myself.
I would like to apologize to Seaneen for inadvertantly misrepresenting her beautiful work. My intention had been that the paragraph would be a lead into the full blog on her site. I have now rewritten my blog to better reflect the point of Seaneen’s blog.
Seaneen
I think you blog is excellent particularly after you start taking medication - it’s better organised. However, that first bit Erica quotes could do with a re-write. It really doesn’t make sense how anyone who’s gone through psychotic episodes could rest on their laurels knowing they have it worst. It’s not a competition. Maybe you’re too young to know the cost this illness has had for a lot of us in jobs, homes, partners, friends, etc. The loss and pain of this illness is so great that I’m afraid that little peice taken seems to trivialise our suffering. But I know that you are a lot more sensitive and deep from your blog.
I’m not rewriting it. It makes sense to me. As for “being too young”, I have lost my house, my job (many of them), my education, most relationships and friendships to this disorder.
The intro is not meant to be taken in all seriously. It is about how it comes across to the outsider. I.e that we all seem obsessed with our symptoms.
Hi, Seaneen–
I don’t think you need to rewrite a word. This is your experience and it’s entirely valid. We wouldn’t have included it here if we didn’t think it would have meaning for others
Marcia
Hi, I just read the quote, and I personally think that it is EXACTLY what others think of us as bipolar people. This isn’t about how we see ourselves or each other, it is about how those who are supposed to be our friends, family,neighbors,teachers etc… see US. THEY think that we are too obessed with this. I just had my best friend of 15 years and has been here ever since diagnosis tell me that I “depended on medication too much”. How does that make someone with bipolar disorder feel? You tell me. I have it I know. I felt betrayed. I felt disowned. I felt like SCREAMING: WHY THE %^&$ DO YOU THINK I HAVE LOST MY CAREER AND EVERYTHING ELSE?
I so wanted to just reach through that phone and “smack her” (didn’t,I love her too much as a friend)
All I can do with these people is just keep trying to educate them as best I can. My own husband doesn’t even fully get it and I have two small children who obviously don’t and can’t get it. We have no support groups where I live so I feel very much alone.
Anyway, keep the quote as written, I get it.
I don’t know if many people think their experience is the worst. I feel fortunate to have made to almost 60 without have more than a few near disasters and had a productive (if somewhat surprising) career.
I do think we are sometimes fascinated and concerned by other people’s symptoms. I also have a deep urge to tell people who have just been diagnosed some of the pitfalls to avoid.
We are all just people though. Maybe what people are doing is not finding comfort in how bad their symptoms are, but that other people’s symptoms are worse than theirs.
No matter how we look at it, it “ain’t no fun” which is why we should be so tender with each other.
Blessings,
Judy
Hi, been there, done that. I have had to deal with family members who thought I was “mentally unstable”, (true), psycho, inferior etc etc.
However like the blogger, I have felt always that being bipolar 1 has helped me to do incredible things, and accomplish
what I wanted, even thru murky waters. Please don’t give up. Meds that help me are Lamactil and Wellbutrion, and I can finally function calmly and with forethought.
I feel that all of us, those who have the twisted genes, need to research more, and even NIMH can be a help. Addiction, alcholism, depression, bipolar , and OCD all have a common thread. I saw a facinating thing on HBO, that delt with addictions and alcohol abuse. There is new medicine coming out, which may even be a help to us although right now it is experimental and of course cost a fortune.It seems to hold great promise without all the side effects.
I so feel for those who have shattered lives. My husband committed suicide and I have to live with that, because maybe my being bipolar had something to do with that since I am headstrong and usually determined. But you can come to terms with this, and it can even be an advantage. What would the world be without Abe Lincoln, Sir Winston CHurchill, Kurt COlbain, Robin Williams, Patty Duke? We don’t need a “cure” for bipolar disorder, we just need to be able to focus the talent in the right directions.
Love and Peace (NO WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I’d forgotten I was Bi-Polar until I read this, which I discovered quite by chance.
Was then entranced by Seaneen’s powerful writing (and her lovely eyes).
I’m a late onset, many times involuntaryily hospitalised, mainly manic BP1, who has been much stabilised on meds and a low stress life,albeit after a somewhat bumpy ride (understatment
.
But, in the weird way the universe seems to work, having discovered Seaneen, which set me pondering again why I was Bi Polar?, was I sick? etc, my overseas Mum sent me, out of the blue, an article about Dorothy Rowe and her ground breaking and best selling books, apparently much beloved of depressed and manic depressed people everywhere (except I had never heard of them).
Anyway, this is a long way round of saying “Hey, fellow Bi-Polars. If you were like me and had never read Dorothy’s books, hurry to your nearest bookshop, online store or library..such clear sighted wisdom amongst all the garbage spoken about BP is such an utter relief to discover.
Just understanding why I am Bi-Polar and how I could go about changing it if I want to is an extraordinary gift.
So thank you ABOUT, thank you Seaneen, thank you Mum and thank you Dorothy.
Seaneen
Anything that raises awareness of bipolar disorder is OK by me and this blog is written from a fresh young open perspective. Keep on writing.