What Is Wrong with Me?
Wednesday May 23, 2007
I am happy, yet, I feel miserable...
I am quite healthy, but I always feel sick...
I sleep enough why am I always tired?
I know I am loved, so why do I feel alone?
What is wrong with me?
by Kaladej
Share Your Thoughts
I am quite healthy, but I always feel sick...
I sleep enough why am I always tired?
I know I am loved, so why do I feel alone?
What is wrong with me?
by Kaladej
Share Your Thoughts
Comments
I feel like that too
people are often douches when it comes to depression, even people who have it themselves can be unsympathetic.
Despite what people tell you depression doesn’t really have a ‘typical’.
Cases vary and the rest is guess work.
When one goes undiagnosed, untreated it can lead to feelings of:
What is wrong with me?
That hits the nail right on the head. Thank you for sharing, at least now I dont feel as if I am the only one who feels that way.
Thanks again.
wow thats just how i feel, i was confused about it and thought i was weird, no one belives me when i say how i feel and i dont really understand how i feel myself recently. thank you for being so brave as to share that because it helps me know i have a problem and that im not just strange or attention seeking. it really helps.
I feel that way too. I was diagnosed with Bi-polar several years ago and have been taking Lamictal. It was working, but I have been having bout with it again. It may be normal life changes that are making me feel this way, as well as you. Talk to a psycologist, a good one. I’ve gotten help from a wonderful one and they can provide insight and help you uncover reasons why you feel this way.
Good luck.
Out of desparation and boredom, I typed “What is wrong with me?” into Google search and up came this. It is so me..
Commenting on comments…Greg, I did the same thing you just did. Is bi-polarity a possibility or is this just a concequence of being human? I was diagnosed with depression nearly 2 years ago and have been on anti-depressants since, but I am still not whole.
I did the exact same thing as Greg, and i was so relieved that someone else also feels exactly the same way as i feel sometimes. Guess the world is a small place after all.
I am sure this is a normal feeling at sometime in everyone’s life. I feel the same way right now. There are many changes in my life, new friends, new places, different responsibilities. All of this change stresses me out so much, I feel like the world is upside down. I want to just stay in my dorm and let nothing happen in there. I feel alone, scared, sometimes terrified and cannot sleep. What is happening in my life, the world, and in the future to come, and in the past, and present bewilders me. Sometimes, I don’t know how to take it either. I need help, but it is embarrassing to ask. I wish I had the answers…all I can say is keep going on.
I also typed in “What is wrong with me” and found this posting. I feel so guilty that I can’t find a way to feel happy and whole when I have a wonderful family and much to be happy about. From the outside looking in the picture is clear but from the inside looking out, everything is distorted. I just wish I could gain that outside perspective.
wow i share the same sentiments as you matt and like all the others, i typed in ” whats wrong with me” and this came up. im real glad too that there are so many others that share the same situation as me. i too find fear in too many places and escape to my dorm but this dosent make me feel any better. there are so many opportunities that i tell myself to let go and shake off that fear, but it always creeps back, like a mild that grows from within and swallows me whole. i wnat to tell some1 but i cant verbalise that feelign inside. people see me as a happy go lucky, hell of a positive feller, but i know im the other and i wnat to stay that way for thier perception of me. they say that a happy person is only seemingly happy and deep inside them is a damn screwed up hellhole. i’ve problems performing in sch, relating to my classmates, therefore this barricades me from becomign friends with them, problems in my social life. im 22 going on 23 and i dont want to live like this forever. living in fear, living in a shell, retreating. i want my confidence back. plese help.
Ha same as alot of people above, I’m a student at school i just did 2 very bad years of college and i want to know why I can’t get anything going here because I did so well in high school, I had seen a counselor, but she told me she wasn’t a psychiatrist so she had no advice really to give, looking for someone to talk to who might know why I do the things I did I googled many other things…none of them pointing me to a list of Therapists in my area that I can see so that I can get better… so then i googled “What is wrong with me…”
OMG, I also typed what is wrong with me in google and ended up here. Despite friends and family i feel so alone andwithdrawn with no interest in other people or the world, sometimes I can’t even get up to switch off the light or the TV when I go to sleep, some people think I am just downright lazy and others think I am just abit wierd. I don’t know what to think anymore, will anyone ever realise that maybe there really is something wrong with me, my moodswings are not something I have control over and I always feel bad when it’s too late, I hope we all manage to get better….. Heres hoping eh,,,,
OMG, I also typed what is wrong with me in google and ended up here. Despite friends and family i feel so alone andwithdrawn with no interest in other people or the world, sometimes I can’t even get up to switch off the light or the TV when I go to sleep, some people think I am just downright lazy and others think I am just abit wierd. I don’t know what to think anymore, will anyone ever realise that maybe there really is something wrong with me, my moodswings are not something I have control over and I always feel bad when it’s too late, I hope we all manage to get better….. Heres hoping eh,,,,
Wow, I feel like all the rest of you. I have had it since I was little (looking back) but wasn’t diagnosed until 20 years ago, AT the age of 25. I have been through hoards of medication, therapy, relaxation, meditation, more therapy, more meds, etc. I still don’t get it. Because once I “get it” it slips my mind. And I go back into an episode, severe mania then down into the throes of hell in a large and deep black hole. This is not fun at all. The only advice I have (and I know how very hard this is) ~ when you are feeling down and/or suicidal, try to remind yourself that this will pass with time. Get medication help (with antipsychotics like Geodon, Respirdal, etc) ask MANY QUESTIONS! It is not normal for your Dr to have you on it past an acute state of mania/depression. It WILL cause physical problems that only worsen as time goes on.
I wish you all (and me) the best.
I could be reading my life for the last 5 years in everyones comment. I am so tired of people telling me that I have such a wonderful life and I should look at the good parts of it. They are looking at the outside and I am looking from the inside. Some days I don’t even get off the couch, and I sleep all day and then the next day I am flying around crazy. When I tell my family that my body hurts as well as my mind they dont understand. 5 years ago i had it together and now I have no idea who is waking up tomorrow.
You should take a long look at your life and decide if you’re really happy. Meds and chemical imbalences is only part of the picture. You may think, or in fact believe, that your have a happy life but if you feel the way you do, than it’s probable that deep down there is something in your life that is really bothering you. D
Depression must be attacked and treated at the root, not simply by pills which do an excellent job treating the symptoms for a while and then stop working.
It’s hard to face up to these things and be completely honest with yourself but you must do in order to stop being depressed.
Good luck.
Hi all! I did just the same as a lot of you, ie: type “what’s wrong with me” in google and … here I am. I’ve been like this for a few years now, everyone telling me that I should be happy as I am in good health, married to a husband who loves me and have a wonderful 9 year-old daughter together… I have days/weeks when I feel really happy and optimistic and then one day I just wake up and it’s like I’m someone else, I feel sad (for no apparent reason) and feel I have nothing to look forward to so … what’s the point of it all? All your comments helped in some way or other and I’m going to take up some advice and try to get some help. Thanx and let’s cheer up
Karma. Yup, I really did also type what is wrong with me in Google and I got here. I today was having such suicidal thoughts just because my boyfriend and me got into it. I was so upset. I don’t know if you can OD on Tylenol PM but damn was I thinking about taking the whole bottle. I don’t even know why. I told my b/f today how upset I was (minus the suicidal thoughts) and he just doesn’t understand. He is bi-polar. Medicated and sedated to a point. Also on Latimnal or whatever. I don’t know. When I think about my life, I should be happy but so many thoughts run through my head every day all day. All of the good and the bad thoughts. Good thoughts turning into bad thoughts. My heart breaks constantly. I can vividly see awful things happen in my imagination and its like I can’t shut it off. I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t know if I’d ever commit suicide. I mean seriously, I know its wrong. But there are times like right now, that I don’t understand why I feel this way. So sad, and alone. Even if me and him made up and I yet I still feel so hollow and I have no explaination. I don’t know. Any ideas.
hahaha…unoriginally I’m sitting here thinking “what’s wrong with me” decide to do a google search and here you all are
. unlike heather, I rarely have dark thoughts…I’m pretty happy go lucky and have everything to be happy go lucky about…but there’s this subdued, miserable, dull feeling inside, that comes and goes and I can’t seem to explain it.
anne hit the nail on the head… overwhelming sadness with the world, even when nothing bad is happening. cant seem to shake it off. it never stops! aslf! why wont my brain just give me a rest?
I too have been plagued with days and days of depresison sprinkled with a couple of days of extremely high spirits. I am a Christian and I often beat myself up for feeling this way because Christians are suppose to depend on God for all of their needs and generate real joy from Him. I try to tell my b/f and I think he kinda understands that IU am depressed; but he often tells me to think about the positive things in my life. When I do, I become even more depressed for actually being depressed and conclude that I can never regain my life the way it used to be - content in any situation I am in. I am afraid he will eventually leave me because when I am sad and stressed, I lash out at him and we argue for days!! I ignore him and I am upset with him for like 10 days straight and comunication is to bare minimun. I don;t want to treat him thta way, but I often feel that I can’t control it. Everything he does irretates me when I am like that. I feel so horrible! He deserves better. I tried to break up withhime 3 different times over 21/2 years but he says he loves me and he will never leave. Why can’t I stop huirting him?
ditto!
I’m reading these comments and crying because it’s so unbelievable how similar my feelings and thoughts are. For the past few months I’ve been feeling like life isn’t worthwhile, I just want to sit in my room everyday alone and do nothing. In school I used to be sooo motivated but ever since I started uni I haven’t been able to concentrate. It’s getting me down so much!
I googled the same thing as the rest of you. Funny how this turned out to be a catch-all and sort of a relief for those of us who feel that the little verse on the main page was written just for us. I’ve been experience severe mood swings for the past 8 months. I was in therapy for 3 years prior to the onset of these symptoms, and I would have stayed on therapy if it wasn’t for the fact that I moved 300 miles away. That probably delayed these from coming out. My grandfather suffered from acute bi-polar disorder and I would dare say my mom has it as well, but she fights it so much… I don’t know how she does it. I have not yet been diagnosed, but I can relate to all of your comments and frustrations.
You are grabbing onto anything you can; yesterday… I stayed home from work, just because I didn’t want to go in late, I called in and made up some horrible lie and stayed in my apartment all day. I didn’t leave the house at all. If I would have been at work, I would have been thinking of all the things I could do if I were home (clean, cook, laundry, etc.), and I was home… I didn’t even get out of my PJs. My poor boyfriend does everything to motivate me; he put me on an exercise program, began planning a vacation, helped me paint and decorate my apartment… nothing seems to take this away. I feel like if I’m missing a major part of my soul. I see this life just outside my reach, a life I want, but I’m trapped behind this glass wall. Songs make me cry, thoughtful movies drag me into strange whirls of thought. I just thank God that I don’t do drugs, because then I would never be cured. All I do is seek that higher sense of being, that not even church provides me with anymore.
I wish I could go back into therapy, but I have no insurance benefits and I can’t afford it out of pocket. Sometimes we just have to pull through the tough times and I hope this leg of the trip is almost over.
Good luck to all of you out there, you are all in my prayers.
I did the same exact thing: typed - what is wrong with me.
I think I am bipolar but I don’t seem to have the mania episodes. How I feel is not just depression. It is so much more.
I don’t feel like I am a lazy person but all I want to do is shut myself in a room & never have to come out.
Nothing seems to trigger that true “happy feeling” - Nothing!
I have a wonderful life. A brand new home, brand new vehicle, great paying job, a handsome & loving husband but I don’t feel ANYTHING! EVERYTHING seems to irritate me - even hearing someone talk, being too heavy footed when walking, chewing too loud, - EVERYTHING
My docter has taken me off of Cymbalta & put me on Lexapro. It seems now the terrible body aches have come back. I feel no better but he is trying different things so when do I know when I am normal? Is anyone actually normal?
I just want to fix whatever is wrong with me so I can feel like a human being with real emotions.
I feel really miserable today. I guess that is because I am so worried about things surrounding me. I am too concerned what people thought of me when I talked to them. I know this is ruining myself. However, I can not avoid to keep thinking about it.
Anyhow, feeling blue sucks…..I know! Move on and move forward ,,,,,learn from the mistakes……
Out of sheer anguish I typed in What Is Wrong With Me in Google this morning and it brought me here. It’s nice to know there are more people that feel like me but at this point, that doen’t help. I’m just about done for if I can’t get some relief!
we should all go start our own planet……nevermind…..bad idea!!!!
i have typed this in before and found that my searches don’t match. not surprising. i have not been diagnosed with anything. i am, however, on antidepressants that i really don’t want to sink low enough to take. feels weak, somehow. i have the normal ups and downs, as most people do… but it seems to take so much longer to get put back together again. and even then… i lost another piece somewhere along the way. don’t feel equipped enough to handle… what? life? yeah. but nothing’s really wrong. in fact, things are great! so… why don’t i FEEL them? i see so much improving daily, and i try real hard to be appreciative. i SEE the outcomes, the benefits. but… deep sigh… what’s wrong with me? i have felt THIS way since i was nine. i went to a few councelors (sp?) the most recent, i remember, said i have too many issues and need to find someone ELSE to work with permenantly, and smiled as she showed me the door. i haven’t been in to see anyone since. that cut slightly deep - i would never admit. i just smiled and walked to my car, as if i was leaving a resturant, going back to work. no matter. gloss it over. stuff it. the real kicker? i don’t even know quite what i said that would bother anyone. this feeling that doesn’t come and go, but IS always present, in the background of just about every moment… i just gave up. this is the way things are. cut this piece off, adapt, move on. with or without yourself. cause OTHER people are depending on you, even if you aren’t. make the best effort i can. and then go home and lock the door. lock everything out.
Did also the same, google, what’s is wrong with me. I’m now in my 2nd year college and again screwing up like last year, high school was no prob at all… I also feel very tired even if I sleep 10 hours or more a night. I got my blood checked twice, nothing, perfectly healthy. Strange there are so much similarities between each one of us. Take care all.
I almost started crying! I couldn’t believe that I was reading other people’s answers. I was sitting here not wanting to go to work, feeling worthless and ashamed because I felt I was someone with a “poor work ethic”. And I just might be someone who can be helped. I have been diagnosed with clinical depresession several times in my life and have done the medication route but the co-pays for both the counseling and medication is getting so high that it is getting to where I won’t be able to do either one. It makes me feel somewhat better to know I am not alone.
man, i decide to randomly type in “What is wrong with me” on google, and this appears…and it describes me PERFECT!
Try being 72 years old, married 52 years to the man, living a lie to my own children that I am Mrs. Happy Homemaker. Why can I meet total strangers, laugh and be told what a “wonderful person” I am, then go home to my husband who says, “it’s all in your mind”. I am going to see my MD and my husband has an appointment 1/2 hour later, for him it’s a check up, for me, I want answers. Yes, he is a good man, provider and still is working. I leave him notes, about what is happening and he either pitches them or……….then I am left alone, no friends,he broke that up years ago, my adult children think he is great and I pretend all is fine……it isn’t CF
wow so many of us, myself included, typed in “what is wrong with me?” and ended up here amazing. we all harbor the same feelings though we cannot find comfort in anything else at times we, well at least i, can find some comfort in the fact that i am not alone.
I have been under a phyciatrist for many years
only recently have i been diagnosed as having Borderline personality disorder, It sounds very much the same as bipolar, is it the same or two different problems,, I had no further help from anyone,
Can you verify the difference and can i get any help from anywhere. Regards Sheilla
I too typed in what is wrong with me and got this website. My mood swings are crazy! one minute im fine, the next I hate everybody, the next im scared, the next im fine again. It goes on and on and on………
Caramia,
I go through that every day with my husband you bare so not alone.
Wow, I never thought I would hear other folks talking about the way I feel. I have had depression problems my whole life but lately I just don’t want to be around anyone. I can barely manage a conversation for any length of time and then I wonder why I don’t have any friends.
The world seems NUTS and I may be too.
I got here typing the same. I feel I’ve lost the spark and the enthusiasm and the joy of life that used to live in me. I saw a counsellor but I couldn’t find the words to get it across to her. She thought I was being self-indulgent, that deep philosphy and ‘am I happy?’ thoughts are a luxury in the Western World. She’s right, I know, but I still feel like this. I’m sorry because now I feel guilty for feeling like this. It’s not so much that stuff is bad it’s just not good. It’s grey. Like everything I see/do/consider I think ‘what’s the point’? Like what’s the point in being creative as what does it matter anyway? What’s the point in communicating as it’s just some tiny little thing zipping around this planet… I struggle to be present as I’m always wondering ‘why?’ about everything. Even self-improvement techniques seem futile as, again, what’s the point of them in this whole scheme of things? The last time I truly ‘felt’ was while listening to ‘over the rainbow’ - the IZ version. I cried and cried and thought thank god I’m feeling something. I mention it as some of you may find beauty in it too. The book ‘the power of now’ by eckhart tolle is wonderful too. It came to me while reading it that the constant ‘what’s the point’ stuff may be a trick of my ego to piss me off. And my ego isn’t me. Hey, as I write this I am feeling again. I actually feel for the first time in ages that I’ve made a difference on this planet by sharing words that may be of help to some people. I want to help people but need to get past all this screw up stuff before I can. I am crying as I write this thank you thank you thank you. Am I too buttoned up or too in touch, who knows? I think we all need to find where we see beauty and not give a shit if other people scoff or laugh. I come from a very practical family not known for their emotional connection and here I am this huge hippy pretending not to be. Thank you for listening to this stream of consciousness. Love to you all….
I typed What is wrong with me into google too… now i’m not bipolar, I just hate my high school I’m ok with most students but the teachers drive me crazy and always act like they know who I am and put me down and the only thing I have done is been late to school and am told thta makes me an apathetic and dishonest individual when i don’t know what I did?[besides being late] The school called my house about being late and I accepted that you knwo I should be on time and mostly I’m usually like a minute or two late. So now I’m on time but I try to talk to my parents about what my teachers say to me about not being accepted in the community when I have a shit load of friends it’s just the teachers who don’t like me. My dad as always takes the teachers side and tells me what they do but he has never taken my side !ever! so idk. I mean all my friends tell me that the teachers kinda pick on me specifically and I’m not asking for sympathy here I’M NOT. I’m asking for advice before I snap into either anger or deep depression. I feel like I can’t take it anymore and wonder what you guys think I should do.????
I too typed What is wrong with me into google and was brought here. We all seem liek we are in the same sort of predicament. For me though; I just hate my high school. I have a bunch of friends and don;t get picked on I just can’t stand my teachers. My friends say they kinda specifically pick on me but I don;t know why. I am usually a minute or two late to school which I know I should really try to be a little ahead of time. The teachers have talked behind my back making the new teachers believe that I’m some bad kid. If I’m so bad why do I have so many friends. I’m only late soemtimes it;s not liek I do drugs or alcohol cause I don’t do any of that a few of my friends do but whatever I don’t I mena I hang out with a lot of clean kids too. The school called my house about being late making my parents angry at me so nwo I’m a go into school at least 10 minutes early but… a teacher actually had the balls to tell me that being late makes me a dishonest and apathetic individual. It;s liek I’m getting paid to go to school when we dion;t even do anything for the first twenty minutes of school anyways. My dad has taken the school’s side well he has never taken my side anyways but idk what to do cause I’m about to lose my head and either get very angry of depressed and I do;t want either, because I used to be very happy and I feel liek I’m losing myself. I’m not goign to go crazy or anything just want to be happier and was wondering what you guys had to say. So I’m not asking for sympathy just some advice on what you guys would do.
I am drinking wine
smoked my last spliff,
well,
couple more glass hash hits,
the feeling is almost there…
almost human…
for a moment, the sexual comfort of another is enough
for a moment
only
almost enough
guess my problem is that the only thing that interests me these days is enlightenment, revolution and crack
and i find crack boring and over rated
rated
8/10
happy to question
happy
sad
confused
human
Tari (22), i understand what you are going thru, i do the same to my wife. I feel like I have a disease. April (32) you should not feel ashamed. You owe it to yourself to relax. Life is tough. If you do not recharge you will feel worse. Ryan (40) I understand your dad and the school, but that teacher was out of line. try hard to ignore those that get you upset. It’s not worth feeling like you do at such a young age.
As for me, the man with all the answers, I want to know why I destroy those next to me when I am angry. Why do i find comfort and strength in such a negative emotion. And why does it hurt to be happy.
i just typed whats wrong with me and it led me here… ive had this depression since i was 15 im now 24 and still cant get my stuff together im on mood stabilizers and psychological therapy only for like 5 months now…any suggestions or opinions? i know given the length of my episode its gonna take some time to feel better but how do i stay patient and positive throughout..??
Man! I typed in :” WHATS WRONG WITH ME?! ” too.
We’re messed up..
I feel the same way it is good to know that I am not the only one. I hate to be this way even though I have a wonderful life, loving friends and a loving family. It’s hard to describe what I feel but atleast some people feel like me
Me too, what’s wrong with me? I have a list of suggestions… I don’t know what I planned on finding when I typed that in google.
It is horrible….but it makes me feel that I am not alone…..
Thanks. I tried to say something a few times but can’t. So thanks for being here too.
This is too scary. My electricity went out and I had nothing to do but sit here and think for about two hours.I thought about how i never sleep. I can go without sleeping for days and not be tired, and at the same time i can sleep for over 14 hours and wake up and feel like i haven’t slept at all. I thought about how I never let people see how messed up I really am. I literally broke four of the bedroom doors in my house in two weeks from being so angry about a month ago. The sad part is that I was angry for no reason. There’s even holes in the walls in my room from me hitting them! I thought I had an anger problem. But I’m also never happy, EVERYONE calls me lazy, and I just really feel like i want to crawl into a hole and lay there until I die.
I took lexapro for a while, but it made me gain weight so I took myself off of it. Then i took effexor for a while and i stopped taking it, too. I hate being medicated. I hate thinking that something is so wrong with me that I have to rely on medication. My ancestors didn’t take this medicine and they lived, so why should I?
So after I sat here in complete silence and complete darkness for a while I realized that there must be other people on this big planet that feel the same as me. And oh my was I blown away after reading this.
Good thing: I know that i’m not alone.
Bad thing: No one seems to know a ‘cure’ for this stupid ’sickness’ we all have.
p.s.
I typed in “what’s wrong with me” on google, too. haha.
Hi Guys, I found this because i was checking song lyrics. As a matter of interest, I was diagnosed as bipolar at age 16.. i can relate to the misery experienced by so many.
and 1 day at a time
However I have been free of depression for many years… There’s a lot of misery in the world..but a lot more joy. Take hope in the fact that there is a tomorrow and things can change. Sometimes we also need to realise we are not the center of the universe. God is, and we were created to connect with Him and worship Him.. Love to you all.
just wanted to say am completing relating to everything said. have been on anti depressants now for 8 months and generally feeling better if better means not wanting to cry all the time as i wanted to before and seeing the world as a grey place to be, feeling like theres nothing to look forward to. but im clearly on this page for a reason, also googled and came here because having a bad moment. was crying again today like before and didnt know why, and also think whats wrong with me?? hate feeling like this. feel like noone can really understand what im feeling even if i try explaining and makes me all the more frustrated and makes me think the problem truly is with me. sonia, really felt what you were saying, made me compelled to say how i feel and also feel some release here and want to thank you.
hope everyone else finds there way out of what feels like this black hole at times to me. am trying hard but when have relapses like today feels like im back at square one.
trying to stay positive and hope all out there reading this can also be too
Are there answers? I’ve been taught that this life is to learn about good and bad. I try to remember that this will pass — it’s hard and this website has helped me. I think it can be as simple as taking care of yourself — often I am just TIRED — physically tired, needing a hug, a hot bath, read something funny, dessert, a friend to talk to is what usually helps me. Sometimes it is understanding how to work around that life is not fair for anybody and that is the challenge we need to figure out how to move beyond past grivances — I still have not figured this out but I was taught to give it over to God, or imagine a balloon floating and taking it away and get rid of burdens and find what it is you need such as sleep, creative outlet, hard work, a goal to pursue, someone/something to be responsible to or for. Serving those close to you because they need it too.
Hey another one googled “What is wrong with me?”
It’s not the idea of being “the center of the universe” as Lotz would have it seem. In fact, it is that kind of comment that often pushes someone further into depression.
I’m 21 and can’t remember ever feeling truly satisfied with my existence, I am not bipolar as I do not experience any extreme highs. I’ve always been a morose character and have been told time and time again to “let it go”, “you’re too sensitive”, “just give it all to God”, “pray”, “smile”, “lift up your head when you walk”, “you need to get out some more”, “have faith”….and a heap of wasted words that have been little encouragement.
Every day is a struggle and yet we struggle on with the remaining bit of hope left inside. It’s good to know that we do not suffer alone.
>
I typed in “what is wrong with me?” too, was hoping for an answer and a cure. I can’t find one. I find everything too hard sometimes.
AHHH i can’t believe it. hahah
this fits me perfectly.
as i’m reading all your comments, i’m realizing that since i’m still so young, i should try to fix this. Because i can’t live like this, with this everlasting anxiety, i’m not happy with the way i am, my mind is like a freaking puzzle that i can’t figure out. i need helppppp !! before it’s too late and it screws up my life.
that is so me accept for my boys tho I am not loved
at least i now know i am not alone
thank you
Wow. Every word here hits home. I have a good life and family who love me and friends who adore me but I’m still sad. Someone wrote in a comment here that it hurts to be happy.
That is so true for me as well. I cry and hurt when I’m feeling sad and down but if you can believe this..I cry and hurt 100 times more at happy ocassions. Including my sisters wedding.
I let everyone believe I was crying tears of joy but I most definitely was hurting inside.
I hate having to go to see a doctor about this… it just adds another bill to my life. Medications cost insane amounts of money and if you have to go off of them there are withdrawls! Thanks for listening.
by the way… google “what is wrong with me”
Well everything said here has put a smile on my face, it makes me feel better that I’m not the only out there especially rem(44) for the advice i just wish my dad would take my side for once but I ahve six more weeks of school and then I’m gone !!thank god!! and Branden(60) I agree I had a doctor when I was younger and this chat helped a lot more than a doctor so I;m just goign to consider that I you guys want to chime in weekly that we can turn this into a little session and really try to help each other out
I have just gotten out of rehab,i was their 11 months and have been out for 4 months now. I thought i would have no prob going back to skool and catching up with my friends and i everything would be back to normal. But thats not what happened. i dont care that my friend use cuz i still want to and have with them. infact i smoked 2 or 3 months straight one i got back. Anyway since ive been home my depression, anxiety, and ADD have been in full throttle. And i keep falling, i isolate and have a huge fear of social anxeity which grows by the day. I never had social problems before but now i cant take a step in any direction to help myself. I hangout with my old friends rarely, im seeing a therapist which i feel is my only hope to move forward. I just need a friend who understands my alienation. i feel like im the only one so more and more often i dont see the point on living this pathetic life. Im a NIRVANA fan and can relate to kurt in may aspects. And i feel that if i had friend like kurt had which was Krist Noveselic the bassist i could gain cofidense on get out. Kurts insecurities were lightened becuz he had his best friend their to give him confidence to form a band. I just want a friend as alienated from this world as me. My house doesnt feel like home and i dont no if i will ever find a home on this earth. Sorry if thats was confusing but with my ADD i have a hard time getting things out the way i want. Their plenty more things i could go on and on about but id just jump around thoughts without finishing many of them. I no their are others like me but i feel like im the only one. I often feel like this qoute or little poem i wrote awhile ago, “It pains me to see a day end because it pains me to see a new day begin” that probly saddens people which i think i do all to much. so id just like to hear from kids my age if they have the same thoughts.
I really like what Dasien(55) said because im also not bi polar cause i never get any highs my high is some peoples low. But ive also been told those same thing a billion times but to no avail. And its sad that this beautiful disguise we call earth, some call home that so many of use struggle to keep the hope of having hope. And someone said it but i dont no who but why does it hurt to be happy? in some situaions i describe it as coming out of the comfurtable numb depression and that in between stage and above is not so comfortable, infact it physical hurts so id rather stay numb.
Like pretty much everyone who’s commented, I googled “What is wrong with me?” and found this thread. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I really don’t. Most things in my life are going pretty well, and yet I can’t stop feeling depressed most of the time. I can’t stop bogging down on how horrible I feel, and then I feel horrible for feeling horrible when most people have it so much worse. I can’t explain how I feel to my friends and my family, and I only feel like an annoying burden on them when I try.
It’s my birthday today and I came home and cried for no apparent reason. What on earth is wrong with me?
All I can say to you, Kaladej, is that you are certainly not alone.
Sophia(64) I truely understand how u feel. I cant explain to my friends or parents what is wrong with me and like you said, when I try I feel like im a burden in their life and I only do more harm than good. I havnt experienced my birthday sober besides in rehab but I dont no what im going to do when I turn 17 in a couple of months all I imagin happenin is me feeling horrbile and breaking down. And when you say “most people have it so much worse” that could be true but your feelings are real and their liggitament , I struggled with the same thing and am getting better but I used to think my problems arent as bad as theirs so i shouldnt feel this way but thats not true. Your problems are different than someone elses and as someone today told me, their is someone else whos gone through almost the exact thing, they may not be someone you no but their out their. So when your problems are differnt from someone elses or seem not as big of a deal as someone elses just try to remember your your own person and you feel the pain just like the other person. I no i feel like the only one who feels like this and you may to, so try to find friends who understand you and can relate because its alot easier talking to someone whos like you rather than someone like your parents or certaint friends who dont understand you and look at you like an alien. Thats just what my parents do.
I don’t know what is wrong with me… I am so insecure and I have plenty of friends and really close friends but I feel left out even though I’m really not…. I am totally insecure and paranoid about friends. It’s like I always have to be with certain friends and I always try to get reassurance about our friendship and if they hang out with somebody else for just a little while I get all paranoid that they are gonna start hanging out with them and not me and I think to myself “She must like him more than me.” She is my best friend… I don’t think that she is any more than a friend to me but I don’t know… Ugh…. I don’t know myself…
I guess I am very insecure and paranoid because I have been hurt so many times. And all these times I was led on and assured it would be ok, but then it really wasn’t ok. I just don’t know anymore. I open up too easily and then get screwed over and hurt. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I feel like I need all the attention and just i dont know. ugh….
Making this a forum sounds like a good idea. A cathartic zone.
Some days…most days i want to crawl into a little hole, get into fetal position and just die. Today is one of those days.
Every day is a struggle and yet we struggle on with the remaining bit of hope left inside. It’s good to know that we do not suffer alone.
I feel this way. I have been in a loveless relationship because i was tired of being hurt. He’s a great guy but I just can’t seem to love him the way I should. Will I always be depressed despite eating/sleeping/exercising all in correct proportions?
I don’t want to feel so lost all of the time.
I feel empty, alone, worthless and like living takes far more energy than I can give. I feel totally disconnected to everything and everyone around me and don’t know how to get out of this rut I’m stuck in.
I’m 28, healthy and have people who love me. It means nothing to me and I feel utterly guilty for that.
I’m on prozac and seeking councelling. What else can I do? Help
I’m 20. Although I am aware there are others out there feeling just like me it gives me little comfort. I feel worthless, and a number of other things, but to sum it up, I feel like a waste of food, living space, and my parent’s money.
I wish I was never born, and I hope there is no heaven or God. I never asked to be alive. For some people life is an amazing gift, and for others it is a complicated curse.
I want life to come to an end in the universe
along with me.
The only thing keeping me alive are my emotional ties to family members, and my instincts. I think of suicide a lot, but I could never do it. I wish I could though, that would straighten this big mess out.
I typed “What is wrong with me” into a search engine and got here. Odd seeing how many people found their way to here the same way.
AHHHHH!!!! I knew it!!! This is crazy!
I understand Tari and everyone elses comments.”WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME” I feel like this should be one of the happiest times of my life and im not happy. I fear the future and tired of be alone. Then at times when I am happy I say to myself it will not last long. I too am a christian but at times I feel like GOD does not hear me. I also feel like everyone does not like but the truth of the matter is I do not like myself. MAY WE GET THE HELP WE NEED!
I soooooooooo understand Brandon (66). I feel like people that I meet are not really my friends and I want so much for people to like me. I have this one good friend every since the 7th grade and I fear losing her friendship and if she be friends other people if feel that I will soon be left behind. I often feel people do not get me or understand me. Better yet I just don’t understand myself!I am tired of the yoyo emotions one mintue I am okay and the next I feel so out of wack. I shy away from people and conversation because I do not want people to really know how boring or stupid I maybe. How I feel about myself shows. I just want to be fixed!!!!
Same thing..I typed in “What’s wrong with me?” and came to this post. Well, actually I already know I have depression. It’s on and off. Sometimes I get confuse on who I really am as a happy person. I am on antidepressant but I still feel emotionless. I can’t remember how to open my heart to people around me which makes me feel aweful. Maybe I need to change a new atmostphere.
PLEASE, SOMEONE, ANYONE TAKE THE TIME TO READ THIS. I AM NEEDING HELP.. DESPERATLY.
I did exactly the same.
I also feel exactly the same.
I’m not sure if I have behaviour problems, stress problems or depressed..
I am 15 years old, I also argue and fight with my mum and dad, & I always get into trouble at school.
I feel as if I am doing nothing wrong.
For the last couple of days, my mum has completly blanked me and I no longer feel loved. Not only that, I no longer feel I should be here as I can not find what there is to live for.
I used to be a nice, obedient kid, and all of a sudden I have changed.
I dont know what to do and I am quickly running out of patience.
Just tonight I was really fighting with my dad for getting into trouble during one of my standard grade exams at school.
It all started because I had taken off my school tie and I ended up arguing with one of the senior teachers in the school. She is a really in-your-face type of teacher and I felt like hitting her when she annoyed me. I proved her wrong and then she started on the way I talk. Because I sometimes talk slang.
Anyway, she gave me a punishment exercise and told me, if I didn’t hand it in tommorow,(I am on study leave) I am not getting into the school to sit my next exam. I then told her I wouldn’t be handing it in as its study leave, and she said fine by her.
She foned home and got through to the answering machine as my dad works night shift. She left a message and foned my mums place of work. Where she also got through to the answering machine.
She left a message urging my mum to contact her regarding the situation.
Tonight, after fighting with my dad - when I didn’t think I could feel any lower - she walked into my room to put wet clothes over the radiator and said, “just to let you know I told the teacher I no longer have control over you(me) so I could not make you hand it in(punishment exercise).
Another thing, when I get into trouble in school, I always expect my parents to take my side, or even listen to my side. This never happens and they just go along with what the teacher says.
It is always me who gets the blame for everything. Along with this, my dad is making me feel even more guilty by saying, working nightshift this stress is the last thing he needs. And, he doesn’t know what he did to deserve me.
He has physically thrown he out of the house atleast 3 times.
Tonight he told me to pack my bags and get to fuc*. He must have no idea how degrading this is and I feel their is only one way out.
I could never/ can not bring myself to speak to someone - or even phone childline. I would feel weird if I did.
I fear one day, I will just snap and either do myself, or someone else some damage.
Even my neighbours, the ones who used to take me across the road to the ice cream van no longer take notice of me.
Most of them are pensioners or are nearing it. I think they think I am a NED (chav) because I am a teenager. I don’t even give them cause to believe this as I never wear tracksuits or caps.
I am no longer close to the family who live beside me, the family who used to take me out for the day when I was younger. I can’t bring myself to talk to any of my friends, as none of them I would consider as “best friends” or I could refer to them, or trust and confide in them.
I only met them 4 years ago after I went to a different high school from everyone else in my primary school. I went to one in a different region which my parents chose. I was distraught at this decision, I felt it was the end of the world. Still they didn’t care.
This is the only way I feel I can open up. I KNOW there is something wrong with me but don’t know what.
I really need help and I can only confide in the internet.
I just want my parents to look at themselves and stop always putting the blame on me.
Even during my exams, which are said to be the most important days of my life, I can not think straight or get a clear head - from the argument which ended up as a fight the night before.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE help me.
I know I am not alone here. But I feel like I am. I am crying out for help from my mum and dad, I wish I could just rewind myself and see where it all went wrong and prevent it.
After all, nothing major has happened to my life. I really need help.
Once, before, I even wrote a suicide note, not for attention, but to try to let my “mum and dad” know how I felt.
They just laughed at the thought, saying I don’t have the guts to do it.
Almost tempting me.
I know what would happen though if I did do it. My mum and dad would not take the blame they would blame it on me and turn it around as if I was the bad person.
I just want to know how I can talk about this once and for all with them.
I am not spoilt or attention seeking.
They claim I am spoilt though.
Spoilt, to me is getting everything bought for you, and just being lazy.
I used to be very active and I always buy my own clothes and trainers.
I can not remember the last time they bought me any of these.
I only used to be able to compare myself to my oldest cousin, who I looked up to.
At the weekend I missed my cousins childs christening as I could not bring myself to go. I did not want or I did not feel up to taking the brunt of the embaressment of them shouting at me for nothing in front of people.
When they came home, they told me, everyone was talking about me at the after-party. I dont know if they are making that bit up.
My mum also used to take the time to wake me up in the mornings, now she doesn’t even shout on me, and in the morning I can not bring myself to get up from bed. At night, I do not go to bed. On a typical school night I stay up to about 1.30-2.00AM. I wake up around 8.30 and school starts at 9.00. I stay about 40 mins away from school. Plus I have to walk.
I used to get late letters in every single day through the post.
If only the school realised the complications the were causing on my “life”.
I THANK ANYONE VERY MUCH WHO HAS READ THIS AS I JUST HAD TO GET IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM. I HAVE NEVER TOLD ANYONE BEFORE OF THIS.
ONCE AGAIN I CAN ONLY THANK YOU LOT VERY MUCH. AS IT IS THIS SORT OF THING THAT KEEPS ME GOING.
PLEASE, ANYONE WHO CAN HELP ME OR HAS THE SAME PROBLEMS, OR ANY TIPS, ADVICE OR ANYTHING. LEAVE YOUR E-MAIL ADRESS. I WILL CHECK THIS AGAIN TOMORROW AND IF ANYONE HAS REPLIED I WILL EMAIL U THANKING YOU VERY MUCH. I WOULD ALSO ASK FOR ADVICE.
I FEEL ALIEN, AS IF AM NOT HERE. OR I AM A SKAPEGOAT FOR PEOPLES WRONG DOING.
OTHERWISE, I FEEL INVISIBLE.
THANKS V.V.V.V.V.V.V.V.V.V.V.V.V.MUCH.
MARC =(
I just typed “what is wrong with me?” in google and found all of you who had done the same thing before me. It’s nice to feel like you’re not alone, there must be lots more of us out there! Here’s a big smile and hug to all of you…
This is for Marc and anyone else who feels alone.
You’re not.
We have a large and thriving community of people with bipolar disorder supporting each other through this site.
We have forums (bulletin boards):
http://forums.about.com/ab-bipolar
And live chat rooms:
http://www.stepchat.com/bipolar
It takes free (separate) memberships to join our communities, and there is always someone on line to listen to you.
Or you may even take some comfort just from reading. I know I have.
Hope to see you in our forums or chat rooms.
Best regards,
EricaHOST
Community Coordinator
http://bipolar.about.com
Marc, since you feel more comfortable telling people online how you feel, join our community and find out just how NOT alone you can be. Everyone who has posted comments to this blog is welcome. Click the “Discuss in our forum” link at the top left of this page and find online support.
Marcia
About.com Co-Guide to Bipolar Disorder