Chat Guide For Frequent Visitors

"Hi, friend!"

How many times have you heard chatters say that when you enter the room? I can't tell you how many times I have heard a greeting, but I can tell you that it warms my heart every time in our Chat Rooms.

"Hi Jobob, I don't think I've seen you here before, I'm Bobjo."

"Jobob, are you new here? Welcome."

Computers and chat rooms can be impersonal and anonymous. That is part of the attraction for some chatters. But we're not only different, we're special, and the extending of a "hello" is a part of what makes us special.

We all share a common experience in one way or another and as you know, it is called Bipolar Disorder. As regular chatters in our Chat Rooms, we have developed friendships and relationships with other regular chatters. Not all nicknames have a gender, age, or face association, but they do have a personality. One chatter may come in consistently up, helpful, with a sharp sense of humor. Another might be timid, uncertain, and shy. And we generally know who is having relationship problems, who needs a med adjustment, whose insurance is great or really stinks, and who may need a virtual shoulder to lean on for a little while.

However, while attendance is not consistent day to day, we are seeing more new "faces," some of whom come only once for some information or magic that we might impart, and others who return, eventually becoming "regular" chatters who are known by many of us. Chat, especially when it is busy, can be an intimidating experience for a new chatter. So let's take a moment and look back to our own first visit to the Chat Rooms ...

Chances are very good that we were greeted by many of the chatters, and by the Host if he or she was present. But if you look back carefully, there was probably someone very much like you who took you under his or her wing. Hosts can be great, but they are often so busy overseeing the entire room that they don't always have the time to extend the special care that our new chatters sometimes need. That first chatter probably made you feel welcome and showed interest in you. If you were shy, and wanted to observe quietly, he or she probably had the wisdom to let you do so unbothered.

That first chatter that you came to know probably showed an interest in your wellbeing in unobtrusive ways such as:

• "How are you doing tonight?"
• "I'm listening."
• "Can you tell me more about it?"
• "Did something happen?"

He or she knew that asking "Did you take your meds?" "Have you seen your pdoc?" "You should go to the hospital," "Don't be so dramatic," or "People have it worse," are questions and statements that can be worded in more discreet ways, and waited until you were ready for such invasive questions.

I remember being in awe of the Hosts, who I now know started off as new chatters. A host can be intimidating to some new chatters, which makes your role in the room all the more important. So the next time a new chatter enters the room, think about taking him or her under your wing if it appears no one else has. Take the time to get to know him or her, and when comfortable, even offer help in p2p chat if needed. In taking a new chatter under your wing, you become an integral part of our very special Bipolar Disorder Chat Rooms.