In 2001 at age 31 my brain finally had enough it seems. I was feeling so horrible physically I started going to my doctor every other day. She told me it was depression but wanted me to see a therapist. He suggested I was bipolar, but wanted me to see a psychiatrist. Finally the psychiatrist diagnosed bipolar disorder, PTSD and dissociative order. I started on the med roller coaster for three years.
At this writing I've discovered one truth: I'm the only one who can help me. My doctors and my partner and whoever else can support me, but I'm the one who has to do it. It's so difficult but so worth it.
I'm working full-time now and have a great job. I'm doing things I never thought I would two years ago. Even though I feel those horrible feelings again at times, I have an action plan to help me through.
By no means do I feel I'm 100% well, but I see great things in my future. If I can do them at less than 100%, that's okay with me!
--LilyTM
