Are You, Or Would You Have Been, the Mother or Father?
I married someone with bipolar disorder. We have one child who also was diagnosed with BP I.
How I Made My Decision, And What I Decided
I always wanted children. He really didn't. He is one of seven children and no one else in the family other than his mother had a mental disorder so I thought our chances of having a child with any problems was low. We have one child who now is 19. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 13. He's been suicidal at times and has had severe reactions to multiple medications. He was unable to finish school in a regular school setting.
What I'd Do Differently
- I feel guilty a lot about his challenges. I love him more than anything, but I'm really unsure I would do it again knowing the hurt and problems he's had to live with in his young life. I'm not sure it was fair to him and I feel selfish a lot for my decision.
Did the decision affect your relationship?
It's been hard on our relationship at times. It's gotten harder on us the older he gets.
If you had a child, does he/she have bipolar disorder?
Yes.
If you had a child, does he/she have another disorder?
Probably ADHD per the physicians.
Do you have any advice for people facing this decision?
Plan on your child having this disorder. If they don't ,you're blessed. If they do, you'll need to be prepared on how you'll handle it, emotionally, physically and financially. Copays, medications, etc. have been extremely costly for us. P.S. Plan on loving them through everything and never give up!
