Are You, Or Would You Have Been, the Mother or Father?
Mother, BPII. I was undiagnosed at the time of conception. I didn't want kids and was unstable when I became pregnant. I didn't get a diagnosis until I was 24, had two children and was divorced and on my own.
How I Made My Decision, And What I Decided
I am glad I wasn't given the chance to decide if I wanted to have children because of the Bipolar Disorder. I would have chosen not to especially since my life has been tumultuous. My children went through many tough times: poverty, being stalked, government agencies and social workers with "good intentions" that went bad and my own moods. If I had known that my kids would have to deal with an abusive parent and growing up faster than is expected and other children who were cruel and unsympathetic I probably would have a very different life today.
What I'd Do Differently
- I probably wouldn't have done much different since I really like my sons. They are both young adults now. One owns a business and one is going to college. I've learned that life is not perfect and if you think you're supposed to be perfect you will be a very frustrated person.
- I would have told my parents about the abuse that happened in my past sooner and the other people in my family. I would have talked about it and insisted that my Father get help since he is undiagnosed and it might have helped him be a less angry person.
- I would have taken meds more seriously and sooner so that I could have benefited from them.
Did the decision affect your relationship?
No, the relationships with my sons' fathers was already damaged because of their issues before I ever found out about mine. One was an alcoholic and the other was abusive.
If you had a child, does he/she have bipolar disorder?
So far no. My youngest I am keeping a watch on.
If you had a child, does he/she have another disorder?
Yes my youngest child has Pediatric Rheumatoid Arthritis. He's had it since 16.
Do you have any advice for people facing this decision?
Have 2 kids: it's less stress and they learn from their sibling. If you're honest with your kids they will return the favor. Don't hide the bad or the good in life, help them by explaining what is going on and let them know you're not perfect. Answer the questions. Life is suppose to be difficult.
