If you have bipolar I disorder, you experience mania. Share your experiences with these symptoms, and read what others have said. Share Your Story
- Sex and dating sites when I'm high gives me a sensation like a fix. I met some men and had sexual encounters. Later when I think about it I remember it but then when I think about it another time I realise I forgot some of the faces or encounters. I always hope I won't bump into someone I know but don't recognise. But I would say the number 1 bipolar thing is I'm irritable. I cannot explain in enough words how irritable I am. Standing in a q is one of the worst triggers. The other day I went calmly 4th in the q for my meds. It was so long I knew I would smash something out of irritation. The lady behind me pointed out my mistake and asked if she could help. I turned aroud and said no so hard I nearly blew her head off. She said no need to be rude. Just trying to help and again I blew out don't help me so that her hair lifted off her face. When I got to the fron the pharmacist told me to join the q of course I stomped out threw down my folder and left without the xtra 5 pills
- —Guest shoulder to lean on
- I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 2 years ago. I'm 15 years old I turn 16 in April. My life seriously sucks because of my bipolar problems. I went on a serious manic state for about a year before they diagnosed me. I was drinking smoking and having sex at the age of 14. I would steal my moms car every night and let boys drive it. I have been hospitalized 3 times since 6th grade. I have serious anxiety and depression problems also. I'm very hyper all the time. I will talk about 30 different things in 5 minutes. I'll sit there and say "I'm mad, Life sucks." Then five minutes later say " oh my gosh I love my life, I love you mom" WTF I just now realized how bad I am. My moods are completely out of control. I've been on lithium, resperdol, and now I'm on Invega Sustenna 39 mg shot because I refuse to take pills. I have been gaining major weight because of the shot. I weigh 233 pounds and I am looking into weight loss surgery. Well my life is full of obstacles being bipolar.
- —Guest crazy girl
God, I need to sleep.
- Once I was hypomanic for a whole year- it was absolutely awesome. I didn't just think I was smarter, more creative, and flat out awesome- I was. Top of my class in medical school, straight honors. Honestly thought I was normal. Then I crashed. Hard. Catatonic, suicidal, stare at a wall for four, five hours, thoughts at a crawl, praying for death- only reason I'm alive is that I don't want to hurt my loved ones. Then I flipped to hypomanic again- euphoric, always smiling, laughing, for about a month. Then depressed, hypomanic, depressed again, ad infinitum, each episode shorter than the last, no normal bits in between. Then mixed episodes, with so much anxiety I literally wanted to stick a knife in my heart or rip my skin off. I finally got to the point where I was cycling in a single day- suicidal in the morning, ecstatic in the evening. Then I went full blown manic. F#@&. Pacing, ranting at god, seeing my dead friend. Manic, and I knew it. I was terrified. Then my dad called. Lovely.
- —Guest Chris
- I have only had one manic episode that I can recall, and maybe still in it, I don't know. I spent months surfing the internet plotting to move to either a) a 1 bed flat or b) a commune with my son. Obsessed with living a "no impact" life. Joined a group for this, and others for other Green issues. Once I'd moved house (to a more responsible 2 bed!) I was obsessed with refurnishing it. I spent £2000 in Ikea in 1 weekend. Spent all weekend building furniture all day/night. Carried 2 sofas down my stairs on my own. Was so happy. Everything felt nice, duvet covers and rugs, etc. I laid down and stroked everything. I was doing this with my boyfriend. But it turns out he wasn't there at all, just in my head. I bought whiskey and drank more than normal. Wanted sex all the time. Wrote an essay in 1 hour. Then 3 days later in uncontrollable tears, no explanation. Paranoia that boyfriend will leave me/everyone is angry with me or hates me. Scared to answer phone. Anxiety now ruling.
- —Guest purplefeet
- When I am manic- I guess I am manic(?)-- after reading some posts, I am unsure...my symptoms seem to be a little weird-- I get super aggitated-- I do not spend alot, but if it is there, I feel I need to spend it. I am opposite on sexual desire-- I have NONE, but before I started a relatively low dose of lamictal, and I was younger, I was having sex with strangers etc.I do talk a lot when I think I'm manic-- but the worst for me is irritation, aggitation (non violent), absolutely no patience with others and the most baffling of all- the question of wether I need to take medication! I am obsessed with this thought-- I will take my lamictal for a month or two and then convince myself I do not need it, stop it, crash into gut wrenching depression until I am forced to take the dang pill again. I find a very small dose of xanax will ease some of this irritation, but it always returns and I hate myself most of the time...anyone relate? Am I just going to be stuck like this????
- —Guest Tracy46
- i was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and bipolar four years ago. i am 37 yr old female. I,too, have crazy hypersexual episodes, fits of rage and suicidal tendencies. my manic episodes have put me in jail three times for assault and i only pray that my medications will work this time.
im kinda scared
- k so im 23 yrs old i was dignost with bp 1 "manic depression" last year i have put myself though hell and back i stopped taking my meds cuz they made me feel gross but as i read down im starting to think of the the way i felt when i slipped into my first episode and now imstarting to feel a little frighten...is anything i could to to self medicate like exersie or anthing i hate my meds
- —Guest 7sarah7
Bipolar 1 psychotic symptoms
- I fucking hate any and every one who crosses my path. Little thing pisses me off. And I'm so agitated that I could crawl outta my skin in frustration.
- —Guest Pissed off
Mania is insane!
- I had a manic episode today. I hardly slept last night-felt suicidal when I awoke. I felt aggressive all day and exploded into anger with the slightest provocation, demanded sex from my bf (I have two), had a temper tantrum at work (I work for one of my bf's. I can never hold a job anywhere else..), I threatened suicide today, threatened to go get drunk, and abused cocaine and dilaudid! What a crazy day!
- —Guest Jennie
Mania is Not Fun
- I'm 36 years old. I remember that many years ago during manic episodes I talked to everyone and felt a general well-being and rightness about the world. I haven't felt like that for about nine years. Now my manic phases are always characterized by hypersexuality, severe insomnia, rage and anxiety, usually compounded with a feeling that no one really cares what happens to me. People don't understand that mania isn't all birds and flowers and genius racing thoughts; it can show itself as anxiety, compulsion, and rage. The rage is the most frightening because if you can't take it out on others (and of course you can't!) you want to take it out on yourself. I am very heavily medicated and work out a lot to tire myself out and get rid of some of the symptoms. It helps, but it doesn't heal everything. I stay up all night at least twice a week and last month was up for six straight days and nights. It wasn't racing thoughts, I just couldn't sleep.
- —Guest Lenna
Manic two weeks
- I have only recently discovered that what i've always called and my family have called "having a wobbly" was actually a manic episode. Ive had them throughout life just never known what they were and just accepted it. I had always been able to find my way back home , usually. When i have a manic episode i do everything to excess i either binge or eat and eat till i can move or feel sick. Or i eat nothing or hardly anything at all. I will drink large quantities of alcohol and if i can get my hands on them i will take drugs also. dont care what it is ive got to have it. It like living on impulse it pops into my head and i will do it. I have lots of sex which brings me to the title name. I had a manic episode in which i had soo much sex that i caused damage to that area even after the damage was done i still continued searching for sexual partners i felt possessed. When i finally came back down i went all the way down as i had realised that i cant remember what i did or who i did it with :(
Am I bipolar
- I go through many of the stages I have read above ^^. There's times where I am esctatic, as though i am on the top of the world and nothing can bring me down, my boyfriend says I talk fast, and there is times where its to silent and I feel the need to talk. I can go two three hours a night and wake feeling good, as in not tired and it feels like I slept all night. However in a matter of seconds all that can change I can become extremely angry at everyone, and lash out. I have two kids which I have noticed I get irritated with them where I just need walk out of the room due to not wanting to hurt them. When I get angry I trash the house throw things, punch holes in wall, etc, there is times where i do feel everyone is mad at me or no one loves, I get suicidal at times, I have never acted on it but when i get in the depression part I want to be left alone, I don't want no one to talk to me, be near me or touch me or else ill go in to a fit and freak out. Is it possible I could be bi-polar. [Guide's note: With these severe symptoms, it's urgent that you talk to a medical/psychiatric professional immediately to get a diagnosis and some help!]
- —Guest guest barbie
in response to marie
- I dont know how old Marie's comment is but Im responding in case I can help. What your describing is very similar to what I have experienced (obsessive thoughts of becoming a pedophile). I didn't tell anyone due to the extreme shame and self loathing the thoughts made me feel. However the distress and shame I felt took its toll and I became severely depressed. Luckily I revealed these thoughts to a psychiatrist who gave me a diagnosis of OCD. Obsessional thoughts of the aforementioned kind are a common, but little publicised, obsession in OCD. You also don't have to have compulsions or rituals to have OCD. If you go on the wiki entry for OCD you will see pedophilia listed as an obsession, or 'intrusive' thought. Obviously i'm not a dr but it seems very similar to what Ive experienced. Anyway regardless of OCD you said these thoughts distress you a sure sign you arent one- a pedophile wouldn't feel distressed by their thoughts but rather pleasure. btw my ocd began at 11, I'm 22 now and ok.
- —Guest francesca
im BD II
- when im in my manic state, i talk a lot, nonstop. im running all over the place. i cant stand doing anything without multitasking, like watching tv,browsing a lot and walk around my room, texting. at the same time!! then when it time to sleep i feel like my body wont let me rest. this thing really screwed my sleep time
- —Guest lizzie
Latest episode of my Manic time
- Overwhelming feeling of hyper excitement I find myself wanting to do everything at ten miles a hour OSD everything being in its place...erges to do dangerous things. I become very indispensable nothing can stop the feeling of power believing Im more important then anybody of authority and hear voices that encourage my behavioral mood swings and usually think I have super natural powers and chase my past fixing and planning to destroy or disrupt ppl lives that hurt me in my past.. Paranoia.,Scares me... .I found myself talking and shouting at the TV and when listening to the radio, my thoughts In my day would be answered, good and bad thoughts. chasing a puzzle in my thoughts an having to put it together in a few minutes or something bad will happen. lack of sleep looking out of windows seeing things that ppl are watching me. keeping everyone in the house up love being in the darkness.. walking my family around my house whispering that its been bugged.
- —Guest meshell