From the article: Love, Roses & Real Support
Have you dated someone with bipolar disorder? How did you show this person that you accept that he or she has bipolar disorder? How do you show your support? Share your insights and experience with others who may be in this same situation. Share Experiences
dating a person with bipolar disorder
- I'm a taxi driver in my city when i picked up this girl she seemed normal good conversation and so on. Needless to say, myself being ignorant, the red flags were all there extremely loving, attached emotionally, and always jumped one idea to the next" for example at one point she wanted to regain her son , buy a new car, a new computer and went as far as wanting to live with me and with the possibility of marriage I was like whoa slow down sweetie i've only known 4 DAYS. Then in a period of 36 hrs. or less she lost interest in everything she wanted to do including being with me to leave to Colorado I told her what ur plans here her excuses were empty and didn't seem to care of how I would miss her and dare I say cry for her. She quickly retorted that would always call and never forget me and when I would ask her y she was leaving she quickly would change the subject till eventually got tired and hanged up. I asked all bus stations in el paso she never boarded one so on the look out.
- —Guest freaked out in elpaso
i'm bipolar
- i have read some of the run comments and to be honest hurts as i have recently been diagnosed with bi polar after yrs of torment and relationship problems. we are human beings like everyone else and have feelings we are not monsters.
- —Guest tinkerbelle68
Mentally Exhausting and Dissapointing
- I am a gay woman in my early 30's and have been dating a woman who I believe suffers from bipolar. You see, when she is in what I call her dark days, she will find fault with everything I do. If I even blink wrong, she will spot it, freak out, become verbally abusive and end the relationship. She will go from being on top of the world to hating me in a matter of minutes. She will spin it so that I have done the most horrible thing, that I am basically a monster. A few days later she calms down...and that's when the non-stop texting, calling and emailing begins... that she is sorry and that she loves me. I fallen for this so many times...because in my heart I know she loves me and when it's good, it's GREAT between us. But this pattern happens almost weekly. I love her, but I can't take it anymore. I have a great life in NYC, a good job, wonderful friends. I need to understand that I can't fix her. I need to be strong and stay away. I am so dissapointed. I truly trusted and loved her.
- —Guest perdie
depends (really depends)
- I think bipolar is too general of a term to apply to so many different and multi faceted people. I am not my illness and I have taken a very active role to control it, not only for my own well being but for that of my loved ones. If a person diagnosed with having bipolar episodes will not get help then I would run for the hills because it will likely get worse. If they do and can maintain a level of stability that is acceptable then you may find people with such an illness to be extremely affectionate, kind and caring, more so than the general population. Because of the extremes of positive emotions (its not all bad) and because of the discipline a person must demonstrate to control the illness, the efforts to please and care for their mates can be above and beyond the norm. Individuals are so different. The same is true for individuals with bipolar. I would not let a lable scare me away from a person. Non compliance would definitely scare me away, as it should.
- —Guest Brenda
Still Grieving
- Until recently, I had been dating a manic-depressive woman. It was very difficult. She ended the relationship in less than two minutes. One moment we were laughing, the next she was furious. Two nights ago (after our break-up), she had a manic episode and left me multiple voice mails, e-mails and text messages. The messages were vile and cruel. She blamed her "rage" on hormones, among other things. She does not accept responsibility for her actions, she is not compliant with her meds, and she does not see her doctors. I wanted to respond in kind, for no other reason than to hurt her. But I know it is her disorder sucking me in. Yet I still love and miss her. However, because it appears to me she is unwilling or unable to take care of herself, I know I need to accept the break-up and move on. But knowing it does not make it easy. I encourage those dating a beeper to be cautious and know you cannot fix a person with the disorder.
- —Guest sadandhurt in stpaul
going solo in the realtionship
- I came out as gay when I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I had a problem with people linking the two. I went through 3 years of med changes and a few ECT's. I dated a few guys but told myself I would never have sex without protection. I was neglectful at times because I was so into these guys since I never really had friends in High School, I was always trying to latch onto people. I met a guy when I was finishing my undergrad and we lived out lives together for 10 yrs. and both finishing our masters degrees. Stressful events make me feel that I feel I'm being taken advantage of and shut people out of my life. Most of the time it is really true or they just make me really mad and I hold grudges forever. That was something my bf and I had problems with because these people were his friends too. He felt obligated to shut them out as well. It ended when I shut out his boss, and he only went to one counselling session with me. More ECT's, hops. stays & loads of meds
- —Guest grain _of _sand
I am the 1
- I am the one with bi polar, but the man I date does not even want to read books about this or help, what do I do
- —osu1
dating
- I'm dating a bpII BDP man now. I've been a counselor to children with many disorders and disabilities for over 10 years however never brought it home. He was straight up, before the first date honest with me(he left out BDP till 3rd date)...lol... Since our first conversation I have been researching and looking into joining forums like I did yesterday. He is wonderful. It is overwhelming with that much honesty but I'm glad he told me so I know what's what and when is when. He (sadly) has told me that no one has ever looked anything up about his disorders ever... It suprises him and scares him. Refreshing isn't it? I'm not new at dating nor am I at counseling but how the two have intertwined is amazing. I don't analyze him at all, he has plenty of doc's he sees that do that, we are just being us and enjoying it.
- —jennile
dating bi-polar
- I think Bi=polar people can be over the top smart and interesting. however dating the beautiful young teacher was perhaps the most heart breaking thing i ever did in my life. the constant mood swings, mean-ness and insults made me a nervous wreck, at times there was nothing i could do right. yet, i was and am still crazy about her, she decided it was time to move on after 2 years and dumped me, quickly and simply. i was crushed and she could care less. i miss her very much, but not the mean-ness she gave me. that i will never forget. i really do not know what the answers are and wish everyone out there the best of luck. it is not easy,
- —Guest pittsburgher
my boyfriend is bi polar & skitzophrenic
- its hard sometimes for im but we get along great. He takes medication but im not sure if i have seen him off the medication, im interested to see what he would be like.... If you are dating somebody like this it is stressfull and can be emotionaly straining and must i add we are only 16.
- —Guest christina
Run before you get hurt
- I have dated men who I got dx. bi-polar and they can be violent. The new man in my life appears manic. We really clicked, the chemistry was there. I did see red flags, married twice, divorced twice, admitted to having a problem with money and many more. I came right out and asked him and now he's very mad at me. The guy was a former cop. The fact he still has guns and my gut feeling has made me afraid, but am I off base? What if he is not diagnosed? What if I am wrong? What if I am right?
- —Guest L Lombardo
RUN
- I've dated two now with bi polar. RUN, it don't matter how good looking she is, RUN hard, RUN long RUN like water through a first time Mexician tourist. RUN!
- —Guest Travis
my boyfriend is bipolar
- I deal with my boyfriend when he changes his mind on me and does not listen to me when I want to do something and he doesn't
- —Guest julie
No upside
- I have been married to someone who suffers from manic-depressive disorder for seventeen years. That's right, I do not not call it bipolar because it is too mild a name for how these people are. He becomes a maniac when high; aggressive, pompous, grandiose, in-your-face, irresposible...need I go on. When depressed; unable to brush his teeth, clingy, negative. I understand just about all there is to know about the illness and I thank God for the medication that keeps it under control. Mood stabilizers have given my husband back to me and my children's father back to them. I don't care what anybody says about the side-effects- it is worth it.
- —Guest sun
Re: dating bipolar from Watereddowntoo
- There are ups and down in every relationship, I think being bipolar is often misunderstood. Went my girl first told me that she was bipolar I did not have a clue of what it was, so I did not got scared of it. At first she would hide to take her meds, and then she eventually told me. After dating for 2 months she had a big episode, not only I didn´t knew how to handle it, but I took it personal, which is the worst thing you can do when your partner is having an episode. After that I bought the book ¨Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder¨ by Julie A. Fast. After reading that book I finally understood what bipolar was and how to react to it. It´s still hard, but we love each other. If someone really loves you then that person will love you for who you are. You might want to skip telling them on the first date, but once you establish some trust you shouldn´t worry about it. If they cannot understand then they are not the right person for you.
- —Guest Jo
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